Dawson has got Joey in the bluffs…same place he took Jen, but he couldn’t be assed with candles or wispy shit hanging up everywhere. Either way, the guy’s a real one-trick pony.
Joey would prefer to get busy somewhere climate controlled, but Dawson is like why can’t we have sex here on this concrete?
Credits, and OMG EVERY WEEK THAT HAT. How I worshipped the bucket hat
Dawson and Dad are talking about his restaurant he wants to open, because he never cared much for the Potters who can barely feed themselves when they are the only game in town. He figures opening another one oughta put those fuckers out of business and they will go broke for good.
Tamara is back selling her house so she can settle somewhere else and molest other young unmolested lads.
Dawson is like, Pacey I had better give you some warning ‘cos your lady friend is in town. But he can’t say because Andie is there. But everyone has to go and Pacey takes off unwarned/armed.
Joey gives Jack the day off because Bess has stuff to do and so does she and Jack is like: umm, but I’m here and I can cover it. Joey is like, hahahahaha sorry no you are too effing stupid. Jack says if I’m so stupid then fire me, so Joey goes fine you can open, just try not to burn the place down before Dawson’s Dad has the satisfaction of putting us out of business.
Abbie (GAWD why do all the female secondary characters have the same name? It is so confusing) waves cash in Jen’s face and she is, like, so shocked Jen doesn’t want to go shopping and would rather stay home and suffer from clinical depression and Abbie is like, quit worrying about that impotent blabbermouth Dawson and spend some of your parent’s money with me okay?
Andie drops a bunch of VHS tapes on the floor and Pacey is like omg wtf i love Dumbo–makes me cry so we should totally hang out and she goes yesss good idea. Just don’t murder me.
Dramatically lit smart-looking lady (I think maybe she helped Joey learn to stretch that tricky six-figure income she was assigned to budget a few episodes ago) is teaching a class.
Joey looks deep and Dawson looks at Joey.
They seem to be leaving some sort of barn and Joey is sad Dawson wasn’t in to the art lecture because if they can’t like all the same things then they are doomed. Fancy lady offers them to come to a beginners class and Joey suddenly can’t paint (What about the whole France plotline? Evs.) Lady says try anyway.
Yikes, Pacey sees Tamara and loses power of speech and it is sad and it is painful. She says it was nice to see him and he looks gutted, but I don’t know what emotion he is having, though I can tell that it is a strong one. So he blows off Andie to go stare at Tamara from the bushes.
In painting class, smart lady says Joey is a natural.
And Joey says her mom used to be an artist until she died of breast cancer. Smart lady says she should pursue it and that with great TALENT comes great responsibility.
Andie shows up at Dawson’s wearing……….OVERALLS!
Andie wants to know if Pacey likes “someone”? LIKE HER. Dawson asks is she likes Pacey and she is like, yeah, but I can’t tell him that because he is an obnoxious pig and Dawson better promise not to tell.
Abbie and Jen are bonding over shopping for clothes and lipstick. They they notice some guy and Jen grossly licks her teeth and then is like no he is too old.
Abbie calls him over and he’s like, sorry, too busy being a fisherman. He blows Abbie off but gives Jen the eyes.
Joey was drawing a bowl of fruit in the unlikely setting of the woods. I’ve always been too pragmatic, but I would say when life gives you lemons, draw them, but when it gives you trees maybe draw trees. Dawson tracked her down and is condescending about it and she calls him on it and then slaps him on the back. Like slaps. For realsies.
Tamara is looking at the sea in some weird Laura Ashley-esque hat.
Tamara is like let’s Pinter the shit outta this one and communicate in silence instead of talking, kay? Pacey buys it and shuts his yap.
Dawson don’t want no breakfast because he wants to make up with Joey. Dad is like don’t sweat it, she has a vagina, so she’s mad for some psycho reason that you need to figure out. And here is a tip, it won’t make any sense. Then Pacey comes over and wants to talk to Dawson about bagging Tamara and he Dawson says ugh, like just go for Andie instead.
Joey gets the day off and sis makes her take Jack to the art exhibit.
Tamara is trying to sell Dawson’s daddy her place and they talk about what they have in common, being at the centre of sex scandals in a small town.
Jen and Abbie look for fisherman hunk.
Surprise: Jack likes and understands abstract art unlike doofus Dawson.
Abbie calls the old guy mister man… then a labourer… to his face. Surprisingly, he shoots her down and Jen tries to smooth it over and he’s like, Jen, let me take you out but leave Abbie at home. And Abbie is UM, HELLO female equivalent to bros before hoes… like sisters before misters or some shit?
Joey and Jack are gabbing and Dawson shows up and stares at Jack until he gets uncomfortable and leaves. Then they are having a fight that, to give Dawson’s dad some credit, makes zero sense.
Pacey shows up at Tamara’s place. He tells her that he don’t give a shit about her no more and goodbye.
Then they get all kissy.
Then she peels him off her and he wants to know if she misses “teaching” and she does and he missed her “teaching” and yawn.
Abbie won’t talk to Jen even though Jen likes her dress. She’s mad that the old man of the sea liked Jen instead of her.
Joey wants to talk to Dawson finally. She says she is being weird because art is the only thing that she has cared about other than him in a long time, and she is tired of being his sidekick. Then she says she was supposed to draw something that was important to her so she drew Dawson.
THEN I’m pretty sure she asks permission to dick him around a bit about whether she wants to dump him in order “to get out from under his shadow.”
Pacey goes to Andie and eats her burger (not a euphemism). And tortures her (actually she tortures herself) about liking him. Then he sees Tamara out the window and goes all Gotye.
Actually, on that note… Who wore it best?
Most Verbose Articulation: Dawson: No, Joey, I want to be here. I want to be with you. Jo, talk to me. What’s wrong? I know I hurt your feelings by being too flip about this art thing, and I’m sorry. It was never my intention, believe me. I’m just trying to be us, Dawson and Joey, who analyze and argue and debate and disagree. You’ve put me in my place a thousand times about some movie. Why can’t we just change the subject? It might actually be a refreshing change.
Runner up — Pacey: Let me guess. You and Joey are having another love spat and you want my opinion. Well, here it is. Joey is being sarcastic and oversensitive and you, my friend, are being self-absorbed and self-catering.