Dawson and Joey are on the roof, and Dawson is waxing poetic about the moon. Joey is being her usual soupuss self, being a know-it-all and spouting moon facts. And you have got to see this mofo moon. Where do they live that the moon is this huge?! Like, seriously? Anyway, mutant moon aside, Joey says weird things happen during a full moon, so I’m thinking this is some foreshadowing here. Dawson nearly falls off the roof and the credits roll.
Tamara is talking to Mitch Leery about selling and getting the heck out of Capeside again. Jen is walking around town and is approached by the fisherman from last episode. He wants to know where Abby is and Jen says they’re taking some time apart. He asks Jen out for coffee and they make a date. I’m wondering how old this guy is since he’s working full time and Jen’s in high school. She gives him her address and this ought to go over great with Grams.
Andie walks past and goes into the video store and Pacey’s working and watching porn. Bold. Also, I’m enjoying the novelty of watching this ’90s video store scene via Netflix on my laptop. Anyway, Pacey asks Andie out and after a small amount of banter, she accepts. Small detail, one of the videos she picked up and looked at was DragonBall Z.
But then when Pacey says he’ll pick her up and asks about her address, she keeps trying to suggest other meet-up spots. She finally gives in to being picked up at home, and runs out of the store without renting a movie or telling Pacey just where she lives.
Inside a store, Abby finds Jen and wants to know if Jen’s still mad at her. She apologizes, casually shoplifts in front of an employee and says men shouldn’t come between them. And then shoplifts again. Jen accepts her apology and shares news of her new date. Abby turns on a dime and the fight’s back on, going from “You stole him from me!” to “He’s probably got kids all over the place!” But when she says Jen’s a slut, Jen slaps her hard and tells her never to talk to her again.
At the Leery house, Dawson and Joey are doing homework at the kitchen table, and Mitch wants to know why Gail is cooking. She says she’s having a man over for dinner for work reasons and Mitch says that sounds like a Thursday night thing. Dawson asks what that means. Mitch ignores him and picks a fight with Gail. Gail gives it right back and Joey and Dawson flee the scene.
Dawson tries to talk to Joey about how his parents’ fighting is making him feel, and Joey brushes it off with, “It’s just the full moon.” Then without any emotional support, she’s outta there. What a rock. Dawson tries to talk to his dad, who cuts him off.
It’s now evening and the gigantic moon is rising very quickly. Oh, commercial break.
In Jen’s bedroom now, the huge-ass moon in the background, and she’s putting on makeup for her date. Grams pops in and tries to entice Jen to Bible study, “Tonight it’s John and he baptizes the sinners!” Jen’s not interested and Grams leaves.
Then Abby comes to the door and is like, I can’t believe you hit me! Jen points out Abby’s been the worst and she’s like, well yeah, but I didn’t hit you! Jen boots her out.
Gail is entertaining her work colleague in the living room, without Mitch, which seems like a really weird thing to do. Then Tamara comes to the door and wants to talk shop with Mitch, which Gail seems to find offensive for some reason. These two are all over the place.
At the Ice House, Joey is breaking health codes by sitting atop the counter in her grimy shoes and is drawing a customer. Jack is doing origami. Joey’s complaining that business is slow so there are no tips. Jack wants to know why Joey’s so angry. She blames the moon again and he’s like, don’t pull that stupid moon shit with me; you’re always mad. His spot-on observation seems to make her feel disgruntled.
Jen’s entertaining the fisherman out on the porch and learns he’s saving up for law school. They flirt some more.
Dawson is at home and sees both his parents doing work stuff with attractive people of the opposite sex. Gail and Mitch both go into the kitchen to refill their wine and another fight brews over Thursday nights, plus Mitch trying to open a restaurant. Dawson wants to know what all this crap is about Thursdays and they send him away. They continue their fight loudly and make their guests feel super uncomfortable.
Dawson flops on his bed, and hears, “Oh my God…” coming from the window. It’s Abby with binoculars. Dawson’s like, WTF?
Pacey’s at Andie’s house and is let in by her mom. She’s setting a fancy table and talking about the family: Dad will be there soon, Tim’s upstairs, “Tim! Tim!” and says he’s home from college, but must have his headphones on. Mom invites Pacey to stay for dinner and asks him to finish setting the table while she looks for Tim.
Back at the Ice House an electrical issue causes the lobster tank to short out and Joey and Jack have to put the lobsters on ice. Jack suggests setting them free and Joey tells him to shove it. Andie rushes in looking for Pacey and realizes he must’ve gone to her house. She freaks out and leaves as we get yet another look at the full moon.
Jen’s date has gone inside and they’re talking sexual encounters and the fisherman tells this story about a transexual. Jen tells the one about getting caught on her parents’ bed. They start kissing and now it’s back to Abby scoffing. Dawson wants to know what her damage is, why is she in his room, and she actually starts mocking him. I’m really trying to imagine working up the nerve to break and enter a male high school acquaintance’s house, sneak into his room and then act like he’s the intruder when I’m caught. Not having much luck.
Dawson learns Abby was spying on Jen and tells her to get out. But she doesn’t. Instead she sits on his bed and tries to talk to him about his parents who she heard fighting. Dawson must be pretty desperate to commiserate, maybe since Joey’s such a dud, because I would’ve thrown nosey-pants out. They talk briefly about divorce. Abby then gives him a massage, which he seems really not into, while keeping her eye at the window.
Dawson turns her down and Abby’s like, can’t you just pretend stuff happened? Can’t you tell Jen we hooked up because you and Joey have an open relationship? And that gets her thrown out finally.
But it also gives Dawson the answer he’s been looking for and he confronts his parents about their open relationship.
At Jen’s house, things are getting steamy with the fisherman and she’s thinking it’s gone far enough, but he’s getting aggressively pushy and Jen’s like, “I”m 16!” and Grams is at the door shouting hellfire at him. And he’s out of there.
At Andie’s house, Pacey’s looking at family pictures and Andie runs in and tries to rush Pacey out. When Pacey says he agreed to stay for dinner and wants to tell her mom they’re leaving, she becomes irate and starts yelling at him. Pacey thinks Andie’s being a snob who doesn’t want him around her rich family, and only under duress does Andie tell Pacey that her brother is actually dead.
Back at the Ice House Joey’s freaking out about the lobsters dying in 10 minutes if the tank doesn’t get fixed. Are lobsters really that delicate? I’m going to Google this.
And looks like this is just drama. Those things can live in the fridge for awhile, a day or more. See, this is what happens in a world without Google, kids. You freak out about shit because you actually have to already know things to get through life.
So, back to the show, Jack bends down for 2 seconds to try and fix a wire or something in the tank and suddenly the electricity is out. The customer tells them to unplug the power source and then plug it back in. Jack does and all the lights come back on. And I’m not Googling the mechanics of electrical engineering to see if any of this could actually happen.
Joey’s momentarily grateful, but like so many other happy emotions she experiences it’s short-lived and she’s like, why won’t that guy go home already? Jack’s trying to show empathy towards him, thinking maybe he’s just lonely and sad, but when they look back to the customer’s seat, the old guy is gone.
Joey’s back to not giving a shit and is disappointed there’s no tip. But Jack finds $100 underneath a napkin that has a poem about love and the moon written on it. And there’s another shot of that massive moon. Jesus, it’s not like an eclipse, folks. Full moons happen. But I guess the moon is romantic now because the lights go off and Joey and Jack kiss.
Back at the Leery house, they’re sitting at the table, discussing this open marriage. Another fight is about to break loose when Gail gets up and says she’s going back to her colleague in the other room. Whoa, you guys left those two innocent bystanders sitting around in your house alone all this time and within earshot of this private shitshow? If I were either of them I’d have started tunnelling my way out by now.
Dawson’s like, no, come back and fix your marriage! Gail’s like no! I have to earn money to support your dad’s dumb plans! Mitch is like, no! You’ve never supported me! God, just send those two guests home already. I think the evening is over.
Gail leaves and Dawson yells at his dad about forgiveness. Mitch is defeated, crying, saying he doesn’t know what to do.
Jen is on the porch, mentally recovering from the scary date that just ended and Grams is angry. Jen said she had the situation under control. Grams is more concerned with her granddaughter’s virtue. I thought Grams was going to lecture Jen about the dangers of teen girls bringing strange men home when she’s alone, but no, she’s wanting Jen to stop this whoring around and have some respect for herself. And so the near-date rape becomes a narrative about Jen being promiscuous.
And there’s another shot of the moon, just so we know what’s really at fault for all this madness.
Dawson shows up at the Ice House and Jack sends Joey on her way, saying he’ll clean up.
At Andie’s house, she’s sharing the story of her brother’s death with Pacey. Tim died in a car accident, mom lost it mentally, Dad left and his business is going under. Pacey is very supportive and caring about it (Joey, you could learn a thing or two).
Back at Dawson’s house, he and Joey are climbing the ladder up to his room (I guess this ladder is back up even though Mitch knocked it down a few episodes ago), but instead they stay out and sit on the roof. Joey seems on the verge of telling Dawson about the kiss, but thinks better of it since he seems so worn out from his bad night.
Mitch approaches Gail in the house and says their guests jumped ship, and Gail wants to know if he’s in or out of the marriage. And Mitch says he’s out. Thus begins a montage to a Jewel song from my teenage years.
On the roof Dawson starts crying and Joey finally gives him some moral support. Jack in on a dock re-reading the napkin poem in the dark. Mitch is lying in bed. Gail is sad in a chair. Jen is crying on the porch. Joey’s still hugging Dawson. The end.
Most Verbose Articulation? I missed that this week. Let’s say it’s Grams’ whore rant.