Joey and Dawson are watching some dancing movie that I should probably know what it is.
Turns out Pacey is there too. Have these guys never heard of an establishing shot? Joey starts bitching right out of the gate and talks about how her and Bessie invested every dime they have in this bed and breakfast. That seems like a much wiser use of a highschooler’s part time income, then say, a college fund?
Joey keeps thinking people on the phone and at the door are going to want to stay at her stupid B&B but they are all telemarketers and Jehovah witnesses.
Roll credits. Looks like they mixed in a few new shots including a spectacular backflip to celebrate that Y2K never took this show out.
Mushroom cut and Jen are still playing “Would they? Might they? IT’S THE ANNIE OF ALL!”
Andie and Jack are talking about stuff in the hall. She wants Jack to come home. I guess he is not living there… He says no and she gets sulky.
Bess and Joey are at the bank and fighting over whether they are mortgaging their house to make it as B&B moguls. Bess plays the “Mom left it to me card” so, looks like it is up to her.
Dawson is making the Potters a promo video, but Joey keeps fucking it up with her teenage moodiness. Then Pacey is like, I just invited some major critic to be the first to try your B&B– complete with fake guests, including Dawson’s parents… who will be sharing a room. Did I miss something?
Some dude shows up and Joey gives him the full bitch treatment before she realizes who he is. She is wearing a highly strange sweater.
Dawson gives the parents shit for playacting happy marriage. Doors are slammed.
Critic guy finds it cold so she cranks the heat. He wants a bathroom, which is down the hall.
Andie is still after Jack to move back home. He slaps her down and that’s that.
Pacey is mopping up an overflowed toilet (but of course).
Dawson and Dad are having a man-to-man on the dock. Dad says Mom is at the B&B because she is on the downward spiral.
At the B&B all hell is breaking loose and Bessie resorts to flirting. Then the sisters squabble and Bess is like “Since you want to leave so bad, why are you worrying about this shithole?” then Joey is like, “Good point. I won’t.”
Then Pacey rants to Dawson’s Dad while chopping wood. So far this entire episode has been bitching. If that was all it took for me, I would have never left home. Dawson’s Dad drops the first hint I’ve been awake for, asking Pacey why he cares so much about the B&B.
Andie and Jack have a boring squabble over milk and mugs.
Dawson and Jen admire the moon. Then Dawson shits all over it and says the pretty colours are pollution (is that a thing for realsies?). Jen wants to know why Dawson didn’t like finding out that she was a reformed slut.
All the guys are trying to light a fire so they don’t freeze to death and Grams comes in and schools them, immediately getting a roaring fire going in the hearth.
The whole gang yaps about love and nostalgic smells (Jen is into the smell of mothballs). Like Dawson, parents, Jen, Grams, Jack, Andie, Joey, Bess, Pacey. Joey goes on for a freaking century about her mother making breakfast and how her mom’s dream was to have a B&B.
Mr Big Shot reporter has turned up in the middle of the speech (including the part where she tells them all thanks for the scam, but they can go home).
Joey stumbles out of bed looking not at all like the hostess of a B&B and everyone is having a great big breakfast-making party.
Complete with dancing/butt wiggling and the throwing of condiments.
Mr. Critic dude is at the head of the table and he actually looks a tiny bit happy. Then he says it was amazing that they were so warm with no heat (yaaawn). He knows these are all their friends, right? Of course it was warmer than the usual. Those are strangers.
Bodie turns back up for his cameo. Apparently he made the pancakes. I guess all that dancing was just about serving themselves.
Dad tries to give Mom a job.
Jen tells Mushroom Cut that she used to be a skank and is shocked because he is totally cool with it.
Dawson thanks Pacey for taking care of Joey (AWKWAAAARD).
Grams is singing “Put on a happy face” as they leave the B&B. Then Jack tells them he has to move back for Andie’s sake.
Pacey comes in to tell Joey something about the furnace and she is asleep by the fire.
Bess and Bodie are having a moonlit picnic with wine and their baby.
Music montage as people stare deeply into space, and at meaningful stuff and people.
MVA: Who knows with all that complaining? Maybe when Jen used the word “agog”