Dawson’s Creek Revisited: Season 3, Episode 15 – Crime and Punishment

Joey is painting a wall at school and we can be sure she is a true artist because she is wearing ugly-ass overalls and a bandana. Pacey saunters up with his lovelorn look and she immediately tells him off because she is just so offended by his presence. Pacey responds to the verbal abuse with a big grin instead of knocking her off the ladder as any reasonable human being would.

always a ray of sunshine

always a ray of sunshine

Pacey talks about how he wants to be cool like Joey the artist and she explains that he is just avoiding all the family that is staying with him (one or more sisters plus children possibly?). This is news. I thought he just had that member of the village people as a brother.

Joey reveals her painting and it is the absolute fucking worst. Like the fucking worst.

tattoo artist

tattoo artist

Credits: Oh! These are slightly less PG than the last time I saw this.

sexy time

sexy time

At the halls of Capeside, Dawson wants to see Joey’s mural and she is like no way. She has to give a speech when her crappy wall is unveiled. She is all insecure about it and she should be because it was fucking stupid. She says her painting represents possibility. And that’s just too easy, so let’s move on.

Next scene: that guy who was in the critically acclaimed film, KILLER RATS, aka Matt Caufield is in trouble for phoning home for a test answer, even though his stupid mom didn’t know anyway.

cinematic genius

cinematic genius

Andie is sitting on this disciplinary committee for cheaters (the writers must have just looked up irony in the dictionary). Andie tries to throw the book at him, the principal says something vague so I don’t know if she was over-ruled. Andie looks as perplexed as I feel.

After the hearing, principal lets Andie know that she is one of the top 50,000 scorers on the PSATs she cheated on. You would think you could maybe hit the top 10,000 when you had all the answers, but no biggie.

Pacey shows up at Doug’s apartment. He wants to stay there thanks to all the sisters. Their father will even pay for it. Pacey calls his brother a homo a bunch of times. And Doug is convinced he can stay. He sets out some really stupid rules: don’t eat any food from mom because she can’t cook, use coasters and keep the CDs in alphabetical order. Then he asks if Pacey is any good at decoupage, which I can only assume is a gay thing.

At the Potter residence, Bess and the latest Bodie talk about how they are coming to see Joey’s art being unveiled… Even though Bess was bullied in high school and Bodie is black. Joey says don’t worry, there are 11 other black people at school, so it is all good.

At school, the kids are showing their art and they are unveiling light houses and football players, just like Joey said. She goes on about how divisive everything around them is, and mentions that their school mascot is the Minute Man..ummm what?

Capeside's mascot

Capeside’s mascot

Prinicpal pulls on the fancy unveiling rope, BUUUT, it turns out that someone vandalized it. I would say it was a definite improvement.

most improved painting

most improved painting

Dawson tries to tell Joey it was not her fault, but Pacey is like, uh yeah, probably someone hates you and it is personal. Joey blats and feels sorry for herself and calls her tears over her mural “an existential crisis”

Jack and Andie talk about the crime against Joey, and Andie claims she is going to quit the disciplinary committee because she is tired of sitting in judgment of others (no, I don’t buy it either).

Dawson tries to talk Joey into repainting the mural. She’s like “nope. That shit took me a month”. They bicker over giving up on your dreams (Dawson quit film after the scathing reviews after the festival) and Joey plays the I’m too poor to change my mind card, which is weird because she’s trying to give up on her dreams, so really that is a point for Dawson. Further proof that she just really likes to talk about being poor and motherless. Dawson says he figures she’s relieved someone vandalized her so no one could judge her. He tosses the keys to the school on to the table because the principal just handed them over to him in case Joey wanted to let herself in.

To find the guilty party, Pacey takes bets on who vandalized joey’s shit, and everyone thinks it was KILLER RATS boy. In the parking lot, Rat boy says it wasn’t him. They have a little standoff. Pacey tells him to apologize and turn himself in and it is just awkward and sad.

mad dawg pacey

mad dawg pacey

Pacey slams rat dude into his nice truck and Ratty says he will go apologize to Joey and then knocks Pacey the fuck out. They have a huge parking lot brawl and then the principal shows up in his car.

Andie tries to barge in the middle of the parking lot fight investigation to quit the disciplinary committee, and no one will fess up to why they were fighting. Principal calls in Dawson because he knows he will sing, and he doesn’t disappoint.

Then rat boy says he didn’t give a rat’s ass (FORESHADOWING HIS FUTURE BLOCKBUSTER, YO) over her Chinese painting and OH SNAP HOW DID HE KNOW WHAT THE PAINTING WAS?

Ratty says the painting was an eye-sore and he didn’t want to look at it (I am with him). Then he actually says “I”M WHITE. I”M RICH. THAT’S ALL THE POSSIBILTY I NEED”, which is definitive proof the writers have completely fucking given up on this show.

Meanwhile, Andie confesses to Jack that she cheated on the PSATs. She tells him she is going to confess, but Jack is like don’t screw up your whole life over a PRACTICE exam.

Pacey is wearing a steak on his face. And Doug wants it so he can put a nice Bearnaise sauce on it.

Joey comes in to yell at Pacey for defending her and Pacey is like, I am only looking out for you because Dawson asked me to and Joey is, like, super pissed.

Rat boy is getting the book thrown at him. He is expelled for messing up the painting. He threatens the principal with his father and makes a really annoying face.

Joey confronts Dawson about the “wife swap” outside the disciplinary committee

Andie is clearing out her locker and gets all emotional over a want add for a director that she has pinned to the back of her locker.

Don't get your hopes up

Don’t get your hopes up

Pacey and Dawson are walking down the hall and Pacey’s punishment was to become a mentor. Dawson is worried about the poor kid and he’s pissed that Pacey let the cat out of the bag to Joey.

Andie confesses to the principal and he asks her what he should do with her. Andie says I heard you expelled Ratty, and I deserve the same. Principal goes on a big speech about looking at the person and know when to be lenient. He is going to think about her punishment, but she is not expelled.

Joey is back in her ugly ass painting clothes. And Pacey is busy whitewashing away the vandalism. Pacey asks her if she will thank him and of course she is like “For what?”

They are painting and Dawson walks by and gives them some stupid smile and the show is over.

MVA:  Joey, “Tilting at windmills while in the throes of a misguided hero complex?”


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