Argh, I think I know what the Creek writers feel like. Again deadline looms and I have neither the time nor the heart (or would it be “stomach” in this case?) to churn out something witty and insightful. Not for such a piece of shit show.
Anywho, back on the creek, Pacey is driving Joey to her date with AJ from college. Pacey makes sure we all know this episode’s theme is fairytales by saying it 11 million times while describing Joey’s long distance relationship. He rains on her parade a bunch and drops her at the train.
Apparently now it is the Dawsons who have a restaurant, and Dawson and mom are doing restaurant things like tasting the food (which sucks). Andie and Jack show up and talk a lot while actually saying nothing.
Pacey meets his 9-year old punishment for whatever mischief he was last in. Kid’s name is Buzz. Pacey says the word “ass” in front of the kid and no on cares. Then the kid changes Pacey’s name to “Pissy” and this kid talks just as brilliantly as all these silver-tongued teens.
Meanwhile in Boston, AJ sent his gal pal to pick up Joey and for some reason Joey thinks this makes the plot line Kafka-esque… which is really effing rude, even for Joey. Getting a ride from the train with a friendly, clean looking blonde is… scary? Horrible? Absurd? Did I miss the part where she woke up as a giant fly or some shit?
The kid blackmails Pacey into buying him Pokemon cards. Then the kid bets someone with a whack-a-mole bat thingie and Pacey carries him out.
At the cafe, Joey makes out with AJ, and the girl friend (Morgan) gets grossed out and I am with her. And bored and uncomfortable.
A pigtailed Jen shows up to the Dawson taste test extravaganza. She wants a waitress job, a position she will only get by guilting her friends because she has no experience and even less skill.
Joey apparently fell down or something because AJ is tending her wounds. He needs to decide what reading to do at his book launch or whatever this special event is. His thesis? I drifted off, sorry. It is important, anyway. She is fixated on his friend, and even though he is clearly in love with his gal pal, he promises her that she has nothing to worry about, which means she definitely definitely does. Then he kisses it better and ew. Just ew.
Morgan comes bursting in. She calls AJ Arthur and starts making fun of his clothes. By Creek terms they are basically married
Pacey teaches kid to paint and then the kid teaches Pacey about this thing called life. He tells him that his Dad died at sea and is fishfood and Pacey almost feels bad for him, but then the kid starts being a dick again.
Joey finds out Morgan is a graffiti artist. And Joey seems to have a bit of a girl crush. Then Joey finds out they kissed once. Yowza. Joey invites her to the opening thingie.
Back to the cook try-outs at Dawson’s restaurant. Jen throws some food on the floor and Dad shows up to help. Something awkward happens between the parents.
The kid gives Pacey more shit and I think it is supposed to be endearing.
At the reading thingie, he reads his poem or whatever, and Joey realizes he is for-suresies in love with Morgan.
Pacey is having a talk with the woman at the mentorship place because he wants to ditch Buzz. He finds out daddy isn’t dead but started a new family. Pacey hears this and decides to stay on with him.
Dawson’s mom is pissed that Dawson called his dad for help.
On the weird group date, Joey wants to get AJ to his room. They leave Morgan by herself on the street at night awkwardly, then in the hall Joey tells AJ to go to Morgan because he should share such an important night with her. They have a looooong talk about their relationship (I mean really long). Then they break up and the music swells.
Back at Buzz’s house, Pacey makes him some dinner as Buzz lips him and then tells him how to make meatloaf. Then Buzz spontaneously confesses the truth about his father. Then he tells the 9-year-old that he wants to pork Joey.
Joey is stranded at the train station until the morning, and rather than sleep on a park bench she calls Pacey.
Jen and Dawson are shooting the shit on the dock. They are both in the doghouse with mommy dearest as she fumbles her way through restaurant ownership. Jen calls him on trying to get his parents back together like a 10-year-old. Jen says his family is in his bones and they reminisce over the people they used to be way back in the beginning of the series, and another long moving, musically backgrounded conversation ensues.
Pacey and Joey bicker at the train station because she doesn’t want to tell him why she needed him to come get her.
Morning at the restaurant, Dawson wants a heart-to-heart with momma. Turns out Papa is there too. He was hired as a general manager and good thing a man swooped in and saved the day, and they also booked Bodie so he could work nights at the restaurant after working days at the B&B.
Cue a folksy song as Joey and Pacey take a nice drive down a tree-lined road. Joey cries in the corner and says Pacey was right—there was another girl. Joey says that she is never meant to find love because she is 16 and alone. Joey says Pacey and Dawson are the only people who have known her. Pacey pulls over and she screams “Have you totally lost it?” He wants to know if this means he can bone her. Then he kisses her and fade. to. black.
MVA Buzz: “A cop! That explains your authority issues.” “Child abuse! Let go of me you hypocritical maniac!”