So here we are…season 4… the gang’s senior year at Capeside. I was hoping this would finally be the season of Jensen Ackles but will have to appease myself with the rumour that Andie has been all but axed this season. Or do I….
Pacey tells Joey that he’s got an appointment at guidance. Uh Oh. Joey and Pacey are walking hand in hand and it seems weird. They set out the rules for PDA and then have a make out sesh right in front of Dawson’s class.
I heard there would be no more Andie and there is her stupid face right out of the gate. I’VE BEEN LIED TOO.
Joey wants to apply for a job at the fancy yacht club, but she is too poor even to serve the wealthy. Andie gives her tips on how to sound so rich that it would appear she doesn’t need the job. Like name drop people she doesn’t know. Like the all important Ross family.
OMG Dawson and some girl with curly hair are in a CD store. And too bad I went in a different direction thematically because you need to see Dawson’s awkward side part.
Curly hair gives Dawson a lecture on his sucky taste in music.
Back at Jen’s house. Her hair is finally growing back and she is looking super 2000 girl with her polkadot shirt and blue mac-like computer. She thinks Henry is banging someone else.
Jack frigs around with her computer for a sec, and we hear the ole familiar, “You’ve got mail”, but he logs off and won’t talk about it.
Joey proves that she is rich at the interview by calling her father “Daddy”. Bitchy lady sees right through it until Joey drops the magical Ross name and then she is suddenly hired.
Oh big wow! Dada Dawson is filling in until they have a proper new guidance counsellor so he has a license to nag Pacey about being a burnout and getting a bunch of Ds. So, now he has to take the whole last year over while doing this year too. That sounds attainable for someone who couldn’t do normal school. But big DD says it is that or watch your friends go on to have lives while you are stuck here.
Now curly hair is house hunting with Pacey. Since they are moving in together I will assume this is his…sister? They bond as he tells her about his academic woes. Curly Sue tells him he oughta tell his gf.
At her new job, Joey forgot to get some dude his lunch and he goes on a big rant and calls the baby he imagined for her a “carpet monkey”….then he is like: just kidding, I was just pretending I was my asshole father, who I am nothing like. Then he tries to bond with Joey over how superficial people are. She snarks at him and then realizes she is talking to a ROSS.
Big D and little D are chit chatting and Big D blabs about the mess Pacey’s in. Pretty sure there are rules against discussing students you counsel with their peers, but we will let it go. Dawson’s panties are still in a bunch over Joey so he gives precisely zero fucks.
Jack and Andie are discussing how Henry wants to dump Jen. I guess now we know what Jack saw online.
Joey and Pacey are eating delicious pizza on the boat. Joey is waxing poetic about senior year and Pacey is having none of it. Joey says she will not become some townie and Pacey takes her to task on discriminating against others and she is not into that.
Back at Capeside the bell rings and in case you forgot it was SENIOR year this season someone has written “SENIORS!!!!” on the blackboard. At role call, Dawson stares at Pacey’s empty desk (oh oh).
Joey is not in school either. She is on the dock where weird rich guy calls Joey on being nice (it creeps him out because he met her for 30+ seconds). Joey and rich guy watch and gossip about the rich folk.
Jen and Jack are hanging out on a different dock. Jack asks Jen what she would do if her and Henry broke up “for no reason…just asking”. Since that’s totally obvious, Jen wants answers, but Jack won’t give ’em and she storms off.
Dawson returns CDs to Joey that he borrowed 3 years ago. Dawson tells Joey about Pacey’s academic dilemma and she makes a face like she honestly did not see that coming.
Joey confronts Pacey. Pacey gets sulky and calls himself a loser and Joey loses patience and takes off.
Next morning: Curly Sue is nagging Pacey to go make up with Joey. During their argument, they walk by a table laden with Krups products.
Joey is getting the boot because turns out the kid she thought was the Ross child, was not. Bitchy lady knows they are in France all summer, and therefore Joey does not know the Rosses and is expendable. The fake Ross kid comes in and says: MOM, I saw him in here with my own two eyes, so leave her alone. Say what? This guy is actually the red-headed bitch’s spawn?
Jen’s sad she got dumped via email…to someone else
Dawson sulks with her and talks about rejection.
Jack and Jen both apologize to each other. All I can think of is how much better she looks with hair.
Pacey tries to make nice with Joey. He explains that he is a bad boyfriend because he is afraid Joey will leave him for Dawson. Joey explains again that she chose Pacey, not Dawson so, like, get a grip. Pacey cries and says he is scared and needs her help not to flunk out of school and she says don’t worry she will rescue him. Then they suck some noisy face.
Then she calls him “emotionally retarded”. Don’t think that shit would fly these days….
Most Sexy articulation: Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole.
It was also pretty fun when Joey used the word “Bitchery” on the old yacht hag.