So either this is the slowest, worst episode yet, or I am super hungover. Or both. This one is gonna be a quickie.
Cue some trippy music and some dude runs in stupidly excited, yelling about the swimming pool (on-site swimming pool, seriously? I was robbed).
Turns out someone stuck the principal’s dog on his boat in the pool (obligatory, this is why we can’t have nice things remark).
The minute Doggie gets his land legs, he goes straight for a sniff of Jack’s crotch, making him the leading suspect as prankster.
A bunch of kids are getting called to the principal’s office. Here’s a surprise, all suspects are male (sexist pigs), and all are in the gang (Dawson, Pacey, Jack). Daddy Dawson and the principal do the interrogating. For the rest of the episode we flip from office to yesterday with the three. It is all very tiring to write about, so here is what I managed:
The kids are required to provide alibis. Jack was at Gram’s house asking for Jen’s help coaching soccer. I guess they are now besties again after him accusing her of sister-cide.
Pacey was sucking face with Joey all the live-long day in front of the cop-shop, and having a ridealong with his big bro.
Dawson got a ride to that old dude’s house from his momma. Dawson did grow a set and demanded cash for future slavery, because he has repaid his debt to this guy. Old dude says he will pay him what Dawson is worth, “very little”.
Back at the investigation, Dawson’s Dad totally throws his kid under the bus by bringing up a pact he had with Pacey to pull the best senior prank ever.
On the soccer field Jen forgets how to stand and hits the ground trying to help put up the soccer net.
While in Pacey-land, Pacey rags on his bro.
Dawson finds an old yearbook that says grumpy man wanted to be a filmmaker, after that Drue shows up at Dawson’s to thank for who-knows-what and give him his keys which I forgot to mention Momma Dawson was nagging him about earlier.
Pacey and bro fight some more and are investigating the missing dog.
These interrogations are going on so long that daddy kins is even falling asleep.
Old dude fires Dawson and yells at him for not working long enough the day before.
Then at the soccer match a bunch of parents tell Jack he will get fired if he lets the little girl play goalie (See! Sexism is a serious problem in Capeside).
Then Dougie drives some blind guy home and Pacey is somehow able to just waltz right out of the back of the squad car. I thought those were locked or something.
Dawson gives an impassioned speech where he tells old man that he can’t push him away.
The kids win the game and Jack gets fired anyway.
Detective principal figures out he’s got the wrong kids, it was Drue for a bunch of reasons that showed up in everyone’s stories.
Pacey and bro make up.
Dawson figures old guy made a whole bunch of movies.
Little soccer girl cries on Jack’s doorstep because she is sad for getting Jack fired.
Joey comes to visit Dawson, and we find out that the boys totally did the prank and framed Drue. Joey smiles for the first time in recorded history. Dada Dawson hints that he knows it too…What responsible parent wouldn’t let his son frame an innocent fellow student?
Pacey and Dawson have a big long heat to heart about whether they might ever be friends again as they bury paint covered clothes, and maybe even the hatchet.