Bess is making alterations to Joey’s dress….because she is too poor to go buy a proper one, I imagine. Luckily it looks just as crappy as your average store-bought prom dress. Shortly we find out that in Capeside kids with bad grades can’t get tickets to prom. Might I suggest that real-life proms would be improved greatly by this practice? Bad news for the lovable screw up Pacey, who just wants to give Queen Josephine the perfect prom and we know that’s not happening and then he rips her homemade little dress. That my friends, is what we call foreshadowing.
Next Jack and Jen and gay friends are trading war stories. Jack doesn’t want to take a boy (specifically that Toby character) to prom because last year the shit hit the fan. And his aforementioned PTSD.
All the kids who can afford prom clothes go shopping together and they take Joey so she can hold their bags and understand her place in the world.
The gang lets it drop that Pacey is taking care of all prom arrangements…should be NBD.
Turns out Gretch didn’t get *that* job in Boston. Dawson offers to skip prom in case moping around would cheer her up, and she’s like n’ah would rather be the old broad at a prom.
Now Jen’s telling Toby that Jack wants to ask him to prom, even though Jack specifically said he was not interested in that.
Joey is trying to seduce Pacey and all he wants to talk about is turkey (sandwich).
Now Jack is going to the prom with Toby and as revenge he sets it up so Jen has to go with Drue.
Now the Dawsons are taking pics of the highschool senior cradling his baby sister. In short order Joey shows up and they take pics.
Meanwhile I have discovered the secret formula to the adorableness in Joey’s smile. She pushes her tongue against her teeth and you can see it. WORKS EVERY TIME! Imma use that one next time I’m trying to talk my way out of a speeding ticket.
Gretch and Pacey show up and stupid Pacey never put the corsages in the fridge so they are dust. Ohhhh you!
Jack wrestles his ptsd to pick up toby, while Jen hits the bottle to cope with Drue. The limo shows up and it is just too shitty even for this show. After a quick stop for twinkies and condoms we are at the prom.
…ON A BOAT!
Joey and Pacey immediately have a row (see what I did there). Too bad they are trapped on a damn boat.
Now Jen’s all drunk (again). And leaning against a rail like she didn’t watch her friend drunk drown. Turns out she is half suicidal after seeing her dad.
Talky, talky…teary, teary.
Since Joey is ditched, Dawson pity-hangs with her. Joey wants to know if he is in love with Gretch since she knows they are gonna do the nasty in honour of prom. Then they talk about being first loves and dance.
Gretch drinks because she is old and Pacey tells her that he’s angry at Joey and doesn’t know why.
After that Jack ditches Toby since he likes him.
Pacey screams down the prom for no reason and completely humiliates her in a way that gives me secondhand embarrassment.
Then Jen almost flies off the boat, Drue saves her then she pukes on him.
Jack sucks face with Toby while Gretch dumps Dawson for being in highschool (and still in love with Joey).
Pacey approaches Joey and for some strange reason she doesn’t rip his nuts off. He goes on another rant about being a loser. So now we all feel sorry for Pacey again. Well, i don’t, but I think that is the general consensus.
In the limo Jack offers Drue his money, but he won’t take it (awwww). Everyone else makes super pissed off faces and the limo driver wants to go to the afterparty. No dice.
I’m with Gretch, teenagers are dramatic!