Dawson’s Creek Revisited: Season 5, Episode 2 – The Lost Weekend

In Joey’s swishy dorm room, she’s telling Dawson she intends to drop her writing class because she’s getting a C. So I guess quitting is better in the ivy leagues than just trying harder.

Dawson uses his cell to check his messages and says he got one from Joey on Friday. Oooh, so he didn’t get the message. Joey’s like, what?! and tries to grab the phone outta Dawson’s hands. He’s all about listening to it, though, so tough beans.

Ah, shiiiiiit.

Ah, shiiiiiit.

Did she not think it would come up? Dawson is upset because she basically said goodbye forever or something over the phone and then didn’t say anything about it when he got there, and Joey was like, well, you got here and didn’t bring it up, so why would I?

Uh, what? When you dump someone on the phone, typically you bring it up for discussion if that person shows up at your door.

Joey said she was drunk and mad he wasn’t visiting her and they never resolved anything, and Dawson’s confused about what didn’t get resolved. Then Audrey marches in wearing only a towel. Joey leaves after a lame suggestion of Dawson taking an impromptu campus tour (Which operate hourly or just on people’s whims?) while she drops that writing class. This leaves Audrey alone with Dawson, who she barely knows, in the dorm room in a just towel, which is something your average young woman has no apprehension doing within the safe perimeters of a college campus.

Now Jack is telling Jen some guy will call her even though he hasn’t got her number because that’s what technology is for these days: tracking down people you’re sexually attracted to. And to think, this is five years before Facebook.

Then they discuss sluttiness and how Jen’s not one, and I hate Jack’s hair something fierce.

Get a haircut, slob!

Get a haircut, slob!

It’s like a baby mullet.

Then, after his bit about technology, he reminds us it’s still early days and pulls out a map when he says they’re lost. Then, oh, look who it is, Chad Michael Murray (Charlie), that guy Jen was obsessing over. Dude, look at that hair. He holds a sign upside down from his radio show and Jen and Jack turn their heads to read it as though it weren’t entirely readable as is.

Womp womp

Womp womp

While trying to drop the class, the professor is calling out Joey for not being up for hard work and freaking out. Meanwhile, I’m distracted by those hip bones protruding above those ultra low-rise jeans and below a full-length shirt. God, I’m glad that style has fallen out of favour. It’s unnerving.

Anyway, Joey’s all “I tried but it’s complicated.” And while that shit used to fly with men back in Capeside, it cuts no ice with her professor who keeps challenging her. But then he gives up, makes a somewhat offside comment about it being like getting dumped, and that’s that. Or is it?

Now, Dawson is talking shit about Joey to Audrey, things like why is he letting this girl ruin his life? And how can someone so smart be so stupid? Well, it’s about time someone started seeing her clearly.

And it turns out dippy Audrey is the tour guide, so away they go. Jesus, if the tour is on her time, then why didn’t she suggest something fun? Like anything else?

Jen decides to crash Charlie’s radio show, and tease him on the air about a variety of topics. Because the surest way to get a boy to like you back is to shit on the things he loves.

They have a veiled conversation about how they met and him thinking Jack was her boyfriend and nope he’s gay, so now I guess they’re going to start something up together, which would never actually happen. Because, guys, she actually crashed his radio show and gave him shit on the air. That just screams crazy. “Get in here” doesn’t mean go on the air and air our private business.

And here’s Pacey, talking about the Caribbean while canoodling with a blonde and they’re arguing over some private Polaroid. Again, the last breath of experiences that predate a world of digital cameras being everywhere and the internet at our fingertips.

The Polaroid girl.

The Polaroid girl.

Her name is Melanie and she’s rich. She leaves without the picture. Smart move, lady. When the internet explodes, you might regret leaving it with that careless guy. Ah, hindsight.

Doug then shows up and wants to know what his loser brother is planning to do with his life, other than sleep with rich woman who buy him expensive shirts, and be a deckhand for yachting millionaires. He gives him a card and wants to talk to this restaurant guy about a job.

Joey’s walking around on campus and comes upon this line-up that’s longer than American Idol competitions, winding around, going up flights of stairs. It’s the line to drop classes. Womp womp.

Audrey’s not giving much of a tour, and instead is prying into Dawson’s personal business. She has the most nasal voice. It’s like three keys down from Fran Drescher. She says she’s from LA and she’s just obnoxious enough for that to seem believable. Dawson says his old friends are so great and everyone new he meets sucks. Which is interesting because his friends cause more drama than joy in his life from what I’ve witnessed.

At the restaurant, Pacey meets with the cook, Danny, who tries to push a dishwashing job on him and Pacey’s like nope.

In Charlie’s room, she’s going through his books and CDs. CDs! Seriously, this episode is such a snapshot of an incredibly brief sliver of time. There is a cell phone, but it’s a flip phone with no camera. People are using paper maps. Polaroids. CDs. I’m dying.

Anyway, Jen is continuing to bust this guy’s balls about him taking a feminist lit class, and his music collection. But he’s talking about how life-changing (No exaggeration, he’s really hyping it) Dolly Parton’s I Will Always Love You is compared to Whitney Houston, so maybe he is full of shit. After a little more verbal boxing they start making out.

Joey’s actually waiting in that line and calls Dawson to tell him how long it is. And she’s got a cell too. Those clunky things used to be pretty expensive in 2001. How poor Joey is really does fluctuate.

The line is so long and my phone is so big!

The line is so long and my phone is so big!

Audrey and Dawson find Joey in line and Audrey takes her place while Joey takes him aside for a private convo. Audrey gives a random guy a smile and he looks away and she sneers at him.

Joey then throws some serious shade at Audrey: she’s flirting with you, she flirts with everyone, why don’t you go find Jen and Jack? Shit. If you were so concerned, why’d you leave him in her company while she was in the towel? Dawson thinks Audrey is fun. Which compared to Joey, she sort of is, even while being an obnoxious ditz.

Joey is all over the place, she’s irritated he’s spending time with Audrey, wanting to act like this forever goodbye suggestion was no big deal, saying it’s normal to want to move on, then not agreeing to do it when Dawson wants a decision.

Joey actually makes her way through the epic line and turns out her Professor, Wilder, signed Oscar Wilde on the slip. HA! The line must’ve taken hours to wait through and he didn’t even really sign it.

Pacey’s out to dinner with Melanie and slagging on the restaurant they’re at. Turns out she’s a law student. She goes to pay the bill, being a realist, since Pacey doesn’t have a job and she has an allowance and a trust fund. This offends his sense of masculinity, but then she says “slacker boyfriend”. Ooooh.

Jen wakes up in bed with Charlie. It’s 5:00. Must’ve been pretty vigorous sex for both of them to doze off in the afternoon. Jen starts freaking out and in an effort to get out of there she forcibly borrows Charlie’s shoes. Good move. Slick.

Charlie stops her, tells her everything she wants to hear and Jen stops trying to run away with his shoes. Then they go back to do it some more.

Joey finds Wilder to give him a piece of her mind and he claims her rare knowledge of it’s versus its is too good to give up. To me that sounds like the most condescending sarcasm ever. But she calls it a compliment, “That’s no excuse for what you did to me!” So, what? We’re basing ivy league writing class readiness on basic grammar know-how?

Wilder tells Joey she’s the type of person who only likes to do things she can do well. Joey then unleashes all her private business on him about how she’s not dropping the class very well or handling her relationship well. Wilder tells her she’s talking nonsense and to write it down and see if can’t start making sense. I’d just let her drop the class and lose myself the headache.

Joey walks away and sulks over some paper with a pen while Wilder looks pleased with himself.

Muahahaha.

Muahahaha.

Audrey takes Dawson to a place where people go to commit suicide or make out, depending on their day. She offers to make out with Dawson, who’s like yeah! Then Audrey says, n’ah, Joey’s my friend sort of. Dawson reveals he got fired from his job and he obviously wants to move to Boston.

Without a word, Audrey sort of walks away and leaves Dawson staring out onto campus alone on the suicide spot. What a rude and weird thing to do.

Back with Wilder, he tells Joey her failing is she overthinks things. She tries to explain herself while giving him major doe eyes. He leaves her with the story she wrote down with an A- on it. Tempting her with fake grades that don’t count for anything. And boy, has he got her number. Overachievers can’t resist that shit. She throws away the paper he signed for her to drop the class.

Pacey comes back to the restaurant and gives the cook shit for charging $25 a head. $25 for a delicious entre in a nice place? According to my inflation calculator, that’s $33. Not super affordable, but also not insanely priced either for a major city. Maybe don’t eat there if you have no job?

Pacey shoots the shit with this guy while he’s working, and insults him several times to his delight, which doesn’t strike me as a thing. Chefs are kinda too busy for that crap. this guy’s just moseying around, taking his time. Pacey offers to work in the kitchen chopping things instead of washing dishes. Danny tells him if he works hard he can have any job. Pardon me while I snicker at the messages my generation were apparently being fed at impressionable ages even from this show about the world being our oyster.

Outside, Pacey starts flirting with the waitress while she smokes and gives the lowdown on the work environment. Pacey gives her flack for smoking twice. Great way to begin a new working relationship.

Joey runs into Audrey who tells her Dawson went home ’cause he was tired of Joey yanking his chain. She tells her he’s at the airport and Joey makes a run for it while Audrey makes a stupid face.

She makes it on time to see him at the airport and he says it must be nice to have Jen and Jack around. Completely missing the cues that he’s lonely and envious of her closeness to their friends she rubs salt in the wound about how great and family-like it is and how good it feels. She is so self-absorbed.

It’s last call for Dawson’s flight and then they start actually talking-talking. Joey’s playing more of her mind games. She felt understood when he didn’t bring up the message. He’s feeling hurt that she left it and didn’t say anything about it. She then dishes out the usual “it’s confusing” shit she does whenever Dawson wants a straight answer about if she wants him or not.

The airport staff want to know if Dawson’s actually getting on the plane and rather than just getting on the plane, these two fools hold up the whole airport trying to make a decision about their stupid relationship that never goes anywhere.

And he stays. This woman is bound and determined to derail his life at her whim, and he’s gonna let her.

MVA: Dawson – “Joey, as long as you live, I will never understand you.” Not terribly articulate, but he speaks for us all.

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