Let me start by saying this blog is messing up my Netflix recommendations. The Vampire Diaries? Dance academy? TWO different versions of 90210? Please.
Dawson is shocked Joey showed up for movie night since she gave him the shaft last time. He says he wasn’t even assed to go rent a movie for her since she said she wasn’t gonna wear lipstick. So she says she will leave, but then he wants to watch TV and make sarcastic remarks (Quit trying to be ME, Dawson). Joey is done with TV and being predictable. Dawson ignores her and flips on the TV (aw, he’s becoming a man before our very eyes). They talk about cliffhangers in a foreshadowing way that makes me scared this is gonna be one. Then I remember that I don’t care what happens to these people and it’s all good.
Grams yammering on about old lady stuff to her coma husband. There’s lots of classical music and piano, which makes me think something touching will happen and soon. Jen pokes her head in to say goodbye AND THEN HE SAYS GOODBYE JEN. Piano swells.
They dump him in the hospital again and Jen talks about how awesome that is. Then she asks Dawson to do something to celebrate and he’s like sorry I’m into Joey now.
Enter Joey, who is asking about passports because she has the chance to go to France for a year on an art scholarship in 2 weeks. Dawson doesn’t want her to go. Jen would prefer she did. Surprise.
Joey tells sis about it who is like, well, it’s an honour to be asked. Dad will be proud when you tell him. Hold up—Whaaaat? Joey had forgotten they are having a family party for him in prison. But Bess ain’t going because it’s Joey’s turn. Why go together and have moral support, when you could go separately? Joey says our father who art in prison (ZING).
Pacey gets pulled over by the cops (his bro) and is in shit for failing. Bro calls him a joke.
Dawson’s going to prison with Joey. She asks Dawson what he would do if she left, and he says suicide…but surprise, he would choose something something wussy and painless like pills.
The prison looks damp and humourless and boring, and not all what OITNB has led me to expect. Joey missed visiting hours because she turned up after 5, and non 7-11 hours is apparently something she wasn’t prepared for…(Meanwhile, weren’t the malls still closed on Sundays on the ’90s? But prisons should be 24-hour drop in?)
So now Joey and Dawson have to wait it out, and are shacked up in a hotel together. The new bed has Dawson all nervous (he also didn’t bring his ET teddy bear, so it’s weird). He stares at Joey’s back and she looks cranky. And he says he would really miss her if she goes to France. And she would miss him, and they talk like a whole bunch about hypothetical feelings.
Jen and Grams are at the hospital, where Grams pats herself on the back for causing his recovery by her prayers.
Back to prison and Dawson wants to leave Joey alone with Daddy dearest, who comes in with some really fancy swoopy bangs. He does not look like a drug dealer.
He says, Joey, you are beautiful and she says she is not (in an even meaner way than when she says it to Jen). He is sad and pathetic and she is vicious and this is vey hard to watch. He says he’s lonely and missed his family, and Joey wants to know if he misses her dead mom who he cheated on. She says she is going to France, and takes a powder.
Then dad begs Dawson to tell him about his daughter and Dawson says she is great and smart and beautiful and funny and a scared-y cat and blah and blah and pretty much perfect in every single way. Next, in a totally uncharacteristic move, Dawson changes the subject to himself, and starts talking about how he is a dreamer and needs her, and won’t be able to live without her if she leaves.
Joey wants to know what the conversation was and Dawson guilts her for leaving without talking to her father. Joey says she hates him, and is going to Paris so she can think and start over. Dawson is all “wah” and she says give me one good reason to stay and he keeps opening and closing his mouth like a fish.
Back to the hospital. Grams tells Jen Gramps had another stroke and is intensive care. Jen is upset and Grams is like it’s God’s plan so just chill, would ya? Also, throw in a prayer doesn’t change God. Prayer changes me.
Joey is working and Pacey comes in and she says kitchen is closed, but she will microwave him some rat droppings if he wants. He wants to know when he got designated the town loser. Joey is like you are not the town loser. My whole family is the town loser. They play who is the white trashiest for a bit. Then talk about mutual daddy issues. Then she asks Pacey to take her back to jail so she can talk to dada.
Gramps is laying in a different bed than usual at the hospital and this neato thingie goes up and down as he breathes. Jen lays a guilt trip on him for having another stroke when she was so happy that he was getting better.
Back in jail and Joey is still trying to get around visiting hours (for a smart girl she is really having trouble with this concept). Pacey suddenly has enough money for a bribe (20 whole dollars is all a prison guard needs—we need to pay them better) and she is in.
Jen tries to be more Joey like by climbing in Dawson’s window and then putting herself down and then asking to sleep next to him. And he says yep.
Jen sobs in Dawson’s arms as Sarah McLachlan sings Angel in the background. I am in 90s teen girl heaven.
Joey talks to Dad through the fence. She tells him he messed up by not knowing her. And that she turned out pretty good.
And she just wants to know if he loves her. He says yes and cries and says sorry for being a loser. She says she’s 15 years old and all she thinks about all day is how nobody loves her, and he’s like not just me, your friend Dawson loves you. He looks at you the same way your mother used to look at me. And you love him. And I can see Paris just floating away on an ice floe. Dad says go for the gold before the cancer gets him too and I hear Sarah McLaughlin again. Joey and Dad say they love each other. She holds his hand through fence.
Jen and Dawson wake up and Jen says thanks, and makes her move.
Just then Joey climbs in the window. Then she takes off. Dawson screams her name through the window. Then Dawson goes to chase her because she got the wrong idea, and Jen is like no she doesn’t and he is like later.
Jen goes home and Grams says no change, and please can’t you just come to church with me. She leaves and Jen looks at their wedding photo and crawls into bed clutching it.
Dawson looks everywhere for Joey except for the bridge she is sitting on until after she left I guess.
Jen answers the phone to find out Gramps kicked the bucket.
Joey walks around all over to some music. They do one of those roundabout pans around Dawson that I just love so much
Jen is in a church wearing her grandmother’s sweater. They pray together. Grams cries which makes Jen cry too.
Turns out Joey is hiding in Dawson’s closet (They are always in the last place you look). He tries to explain, and she is like who cares.
Joey says she was there to tell him she is moving on. He wants to know if she is going to France, and she talks about the cliffhanger, and says she’s leaving to grow up and Dawson wants to grow up too, but safe in his parents’ home. And they talk a lot, but the only thing that is really happening is they are about to kiss. Joey cries and no kiss. But Dawson is like too much crying not enough kissing, and makes out with her before she hops out the window.
HUGE backlit makeout session.
Fade. to. Black.
MVA, Joey: Yeah, but just like in our own lives, they are so predictable. I mean, the producers put the characters in some contrived situation, hoping that the audience will think something is going to change. But you know what? It never does. It’s back to the same way it was before your so called cliffhanger. It’s boring, Dawson
LVA, Dawson: “Even Spielberg outgrew his Peter Pan syndrome” Yeah, we know Joey said that a dozen episodes ago, dum-dum.