Dawson’s Creek Revisited: Season 5, Episode 12 – Sleeping Arrangements

It’s Jenn. I’ve got a tenuous grip on some episodes. We’ll see how this goes.

Pacey’s on his boat and some blonde I can’t remember approaches him. Thankfully, Pacey says her full name so the audience doesn’t have to think too hard. This is Melanie. She’s all impressed he’s got a job. She says it shatters her understanding of the natural order of the universe. He must find her super hot, ’cause that’s a mad burn and he’s still smiling.

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You may know me from such TV shows as How I Met Your Mother, Once Upon a Time or my episode of Touched By an Angel.

So Melanie has come to tell him that boat he’s living on got sold, and dude who owned it has bought a bigger boat and wants Pacey to sail around the Greek islands with him. Which is much more specific than “Paradise” which is where they went last time. Also it seems this business arrangement might be better organized through a direct phone call, but what do I know about the doings of eccentric millionaires?

Pacey doesn’t seem mega jazzed about this offer and Melanie heads out.

And just so you know, this episode is playing with the Jann Arden theme. I’m pretty disappointed.

At Grams’ house, Jen is getting ready and Dawson is trying to make plans with her, unsuccessfully, while learning that Jen actually wears a lot of makeup, which he never noticed before. Also, he learns that Jen thought his toothbrush was “old” and used it to separate her eyelashes. Yes. She thought the toothbrush that belongs to her boyfriend who recently moved in was “old” and used this “old” and therefore germy-ass brush on her eyes. That’s gross, and a stye waiting to happen.

He then wants to use hers and she’s like, ew, no, that’s my toothbrush. Dawson points out they’ve been sleeping together for three weeks, but no dice, even if she did just ruin his toothbrush. He then pokes through a drawer looking for dental supplies and Jen wigs out, all no, that’s my drawer. I have a child who’s turning 3 tomorrow and I don’t mind saying I’m drawing some behavioural parallels here. Dawson leaves the bathroom looking way less annoyed than I’d be.

Joey’s in a class and the prof wants to talk to her. Some moody-looking blonde guy seems a little fixated. And turns out prof wants to introduce blondie, Elliott, to Joey. Why? No reason. Just to point out that Elliott was checking her out. Inappropriate, much? Boundaries, buddy.

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I need an adult.

Elliott tries to make chit chat and points out they’ve met, and joey gives her classic brush off and leaves. Dude, figuring he’s got nothing to lose at this point, chases after her and offers to walk and get coffee, but no dice. Joey’s Joey and there’s no point.

At the radio station, Jen’s attempting to sound cool on the air and blows it. So she takes a request which winds up being some chick who doesn’t understand how music radio shows work and wants Jen’s advice on her love life for some reason. Who is screening these calls?

The caller says he boyfriend ejaculates too early. Seriously, someone called into a rock radio station and asked this on the air. Who wrote this shit? Jen decides to offer her expertise, though we don’t get to hear what her answer is.

Now Dawson is helping Jack move into the frat house. The room he’s getting is huge and has its own bathroom. He wants to know how he got so lucky and the guy who’s giving the room up says it’s a lottery, luck of the draw thing. Probably that’s not at all accurate.

Buddy’s new roommate helps him move stuff into their new shared room and Jack’s wondering why those two guys are sharing while he gets the big room all to himself.

Audrey’s at work at the restaurant and is applying lipstick while viewing herself in a spoon. Any time anyone has worked in food service on this show, they have completely fucked it up.

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Wait tables? What is this devilry?

And somehow she’s not fired immediately, even after she tells the chef the salmon is gross, says “sucks to be you” and calls him old. Chef Ramsay would have eaten her by now.

The Chef then wants to promote(?) Pacey to breadmaker because their old breadmaker is back in jail(?) and tells him he doesn’t know what he’d do without him, making Pacey’s decision over whether to sail the Greek islands that much harder.

Audrey then comes back to shoot the shit with Pacey rather than work the crowded restaurant. He’s not interested in chit chat.

At Grams’ house, Grams playing Jack’s video game that he left behind, which tickles me to death and brings back fond memories of my mom stealing my Gameboy and draining the batteries to play Dr. Mario when I was a teenager.

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The devil made me do it.

She puts the game down to talk to Dawson about his registration to some film group and he says he didn’t fit in with them. He then tells Grams he knows it must be weird seeing him dating Jen. Grams says she’s come a long way thanks to Jen’s help, and for example she can now say the word “penis.” Might I remind everyone that Grams used to be a nurse? What did she call the penis when she was on the job?

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“Hey Homer, I can see your doodle!”

Dawson says he’ll live by whatever ground rules Grams wants to set, but she says they both know no one can make an honest woman out of Jen, so just be nice to her. Dawson remembers Jen’s on the radio now so he turns on the station and looks like Jen’s music program has become the love advice show. And she gives shitty advice.

So this girl wants to know why her boyfriend of three months is pulling away. Jen says it’s because the honeymoon period is over and men leave, and frequent sex can delay it for awhile, but not indefinitely. You should see Grams’ face for that one.

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Oh hell no.

Jen also advises keeping things to yourself and calls men disasters. I think she’s going to get canned from her job. But then again, this is Dawson’s Creek where up is down, so maybe she’ll get her own show.

Dawson seems perturbed and Grams tries to play it down so as not to lose the only nice boyfriend she’s ever seen her granddaughter date.

Joey’s in the book store and that pretentious professor is there, admitting he’s assigned reading material from his own book and talking about boys flirting with her. This guy is a creep, and Joey loves it because she’s fucking Joey.

Prof humblebrags about how he wrote the book when he was 20 and calls the themes incestuous.

At the restaurant, Pacey’s hanging out in the dining room, all unprofessional-like and Audrey wants to know what’s bothering him. He reveals his job offer. She tells him to stay or go, whatever, and is of no real help.

Back at the frat house, Jack wants to know why buddy gave up his room. Turns out the freshman he was supposed to share with got uncomfortable with sharing the room with a gay guy, left it too late to say anything and now is boarding with buddy, who’s a senior. Jack’s hurt, but I’m thinking the guys all still like him and, hey, sweet-ass big room all to himself. It’s not like he got a bum deal.

Back at the restaurant, Pacey is talking to Chef and trying to quit and Chef’s like, hey, you’re not trying to quit, are you? This always happens on TV. Pacey quits, giving three days notice, and dude takes it pretty well considering he’s only just recently lost another employee due to criminal charges. Chef looks a little like Paul Rudd. But it’s not Paul Rudd. I wish it was.

Audrey saunters into the kitchen to count tips she probably doesn’t deserve and thinks Pacey’s feeling bummed that his boss let him go so easily, and points out he has a life in town now. You’d think she’d have offered this viewpoint prior to him quitting if that’s what she thought.

Audrey then starts flirting with him only to turn around and call him boring. Audrey is such a pain in the ass. No redeeming features. Thinking on it, I think she’s why I quit watching back in the day.

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You want me so bad, and you’re boring as shit.

Audrey reverse throws herself at him, claiming out of nowhere he’d sleep with her, and he calls her bawdy. She says he makes her feel like Bette Midler and I’m cringing from the shitty dialogue.

Melanie shows up, Audrey parts with some awful attempts at wit and Pacey’s out the door too, despite the fact he didn’t seem to have finished cleaning the kitchen. But fuck it, right? He quit!

Jen walks up to the house, and Dawson is waiting outside for her, which is weird when he could have just waited inside sitting on something comfortable. She surmises he heard the broadcast. OH and who called it? Up is down and night is day because Jen got her own radio show to dispense her shitty cynical advice that’ll ruin young relationships all over Boston.

She now wants to know what Dawson has to say, and seems worked up for bad news. But he just wants to go out. She bristles and is all, well, I already told you I’m busy! This chick thinks men leave and doesn’t consider it’s because she pushes them away. It’s maddening. Joey does the same stupid shit. Kevin Williamson is a bitter old tit.

Dawson tells her he’s going to the movies and then he will come home, and she’s free to join him, or she’s free to keep testing him, but he’s a steady guy who doesn’t cheat or leave. Honestly, I’d leave her, though. This shit she pulls got old seasons ago and ain’t nobody got time for that.

At the frat house, Jack confronts the guy who didn’t want to room with him. He calls him out and the guy’s like, I didn’t want people to think I was gay. They get nothing accomplished and Jack leaves the room.

Audrey arrives back at her dorm, complains loudly about waitressing, kicks her shoe off, which hits things on a dresser. Then she crawls into Joey’s bed, despite Joey not really wanting her there. Joey tells her about how she got asked out and said no. Turns out she thought Audrey slept with the guy, but nope, so she turned down handsome brooding Elliott for no good reason.

Pacey takes Melanie back to the boat and they reminisce over their last boating escapade. I’m gonna level with you all. This scene is boring as shit and I’m sort of glazing over it. They make out.

In the morning they’re getting dressed and Melanie’s giving herself the bum’s rush. Personal pet peeve: Her hair and makeup still look perfect. Fall asleep with that much eye shadow on and you’re going to look like a vagrant in the morning, just saying.

At Grams’ house, Jen has replaced Dawson’s toothbrush but has some requests about how he can be less gross to live with. She offers a convoluted BS reason for wearing makeup too: because when she was a little girl she learned to hide herself and cover up for protection. Oh fuck off, you wear it because it makes you feel pretty and maybe not wearing it make you feel not pretty and you want to leave the house looking pretty, like we all do. Not everything has a deep dark reason. 

Joey goes to Elliott’s room and rather than saying, “Hey, so I didn’t want to go to coffee because I thought you slept with my roommate and I figured it’d be too weird,” she launches into this overly verbose web of complete nonsense and mystery without touching on anything of actual importance. He then says, “I didn’t sleep with your roommate.” Him, I like him. Cutting through the bullshit.

She asks him to coffee and he fakes rejecting her before agreeing. She gives him this shitty smile. Seriously, it’s awful.

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What the fuck is this?

At the frat house, Jack drops his keys in front of the senior guy, all dramatic like, and says he shouldn’t live there. He then leaves without any of his stuff, so is he really leaving? The freshman, I think his name’s Eric, chases after him and offers to be his roommate. Jack says he needs to think about it.

At the boat, Pacey is packing and Audrey shows up wearing an ugly hat and wants him to come outside. Oh look, it’s Joey, Jack, Jen and Dawson there to say goodbye. And that’s odd in its own way because this group has been sort of growing apart. They present him with something that looks boat-ish and turns out he’s not going anywhere after all.

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Not a good year for hat fashion.

So, he’s quit his job and has nowhere to live. Sounds like a plan!

The end.

So, just for the record, getting this episode to play was a real pain in the ass and I’m not sure how frequently I can keep this up. Effing Netflix and their fickle catalogue. So! Keep harassing us in the comments to do more and I’ll make it more of a priority, despite the pain-in-the-assery, and maybe even Jen (who lost patience with this show a long time ago) will come back to complain about it once again. Plus there’s still Jensen to come. 

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Dawson’s Creek Revisited: Season 5, Episode 6 – High Anxiety

Opening scene, Dawson’s getting checked out by a doctor. Nothing wrong physically, but he’s having anxiety attacks, and has been since his dad died. He doesn’t think it’s grief stress though. Doc thinks otherwise and hooks him up with a therapist in Boston, who is the best. Dawson sensibly asks if there’s not someone closer, but apparently not.

WTF? They have a TV station, but no shrinks? Capeside never makes any effing sense.

The receptionist walks in with an appointment for 5:00 the next day. How good can this guy be to be available that short notice? Hope you didn’t have anything important planned tomorrow, you’re going on a last-minute train ride and an overnight trip. (Hopefully you work through your grief fast or you’ll be making a lot of big trips to Boston. Seriously, what doctor would make treatment this unnecessarily cumbersome?)

CREDITS

Joey walks in and Audrey’s messily tidying her trashy belongings. Her pillow is hot pink and furry and there’s leopard print everywhere. Her mom is coming for a visit, and this is someone who used to hit on her boyfriends, so Audrey’s not keen. Joey’s skeptical that she’s all that bad, and changes the subject to Dawson, who hasn’t called.

Jen’s hanging out with Pacey in a fancy boat (that can’t be his boat, right? How did he get his hands on another, much nicer boat?) and bemoaning her cheating sort of boyfriend. Pacey finds a stray necklace, then tells Jen to get even.

Dawson is walking around his house looking sad and a little anxious.

At the restaurant, Pacey’s eating for free on his day off and hands the stray necklace back to his boss, who wants to commit adultery on his boat again this evening. Bold request to effectively ask to screw in someone else’s home while they find something else to do. Pacey’s like, oh, I can’t ’cause I’m throwing a party tonight. Then a waitress announces, hey, Pacey’s throwing a party! The restaurant cheers and now Pacey’s stuck.

Dawson calls Joey and they have a stilted conversation about how he’ll be in town, but will just stay with Jack and Jen. And of course Joey pretends like it’s fine and she really isn’t okay with it at all.

Y U no Want me?!

Y U no Want me?!

Dawson arrives at the therapist’s, and it’s an empty, dark waiting room without another human being in. That’s not a good sign for a mental health professional. There’s a mysterious white box with a button on the table that looks like an answering machine. Dawson pushes the button twice, which is twice as bold as I would be.

He gets antsy after waiting about 30 seconds and gets up and leaves.

Audrey’s mom is in the dorm now, and Audrey is on a scale. Mom sees Joey, compliments her skinny figure and Audrey reveals Mom thinks her daughter has gained weight. Then Mom asks Joey how old she thinks she is. This woman is already a pain in the ass.

Cliche shitty mother

Cliche shitty mother

Then she re-phrases and asks if she looks more like Audrey’s sister or mother. Joey unloyally picks sister, which is the coward’s way out. Mother all the way, just for the look on her face after the reality check. Mom is flattered and now wants Joey to come out for dinner.

Audrey pulls Joey in the bathroom and insists she come to dinner, especially after saying Mom looks like her sister.

Dawson shows up at Jen’s place. Grams certainly managed to buy a lot of Boston house. Dawson asks if he can spend the night. Maybe call ahead…? Jen has to run out, presumably for that revenge. Jack is on the way to the frat (Oh good, he cut those stupid hair wings off) and invites Dawson along, who is happy to come.

Jen marches up to her paramour’s door and he’s not happy to see her, reminding her they had plans tomorrow instead. She bursts in, he takes a nervous look at the closet and she says she might need a Palm Pilot to keep track of her liaisons. Heh. Palm Pilot. She then says let’s get naked. Charlie’s like no.

She feigns hurt like she’s in a second rate film noir and says she’ll get her sweater and be on her way. Charlie speeds ahead of her and prevents her from opening the closet. He says he is having the sweater dry cleaned.

Then a young woman walks out of the closet claiming to be Charlie’s girlfriend (Because girlfriends generally hide in closets when other girls come over unannounced). Then Jen says she’s his girlfriend and then Charlie stares back at them trying to look cute and worried.

Womp...

Womp…

Womp...

…womp.

At the frat party, Dawson helps his team win a drinking game and looks jazzed to be there.

At dinner, mom wastes no time grilling Audrey about the sauce on her dinner plate, her exercise regime and the way she speaks. Joey leaves the table to make a call on her cell, which is a level of etiquette not seen in… ever? Dawson screens the call and gets back to drinking. Joey’s stuck at that dinner.

In Charlie’s room, he’s apologizing without really apologizing, “we never had that talk”, “it’s college”, and so forth. And then he takes the conversation in a direction where I think he’s going to suggest a threesome. Oh and he does.

Back at dinner, things are tense with hearing about how mom was an model and wanted to be an actress but got pregnant. Then Mom talks about how many private schools Audrey went through, and how she lacks focus.

Then she gets even more awful and tells Joey she basically paid the school to take her because her grades were shit.

Joey then calmly tells off Audrey’s mom, scoring one round of “maybe you’re mad because she’s 18 and you’re not,” and then they leave to go to a party, and Mom is left at the table.

Jen and the other woman, Nora, supposedly agree to this threesome. Having a rich history of television watching behind me, I surmise that they met beforehand, somehow knew he’d bring this idea up somehow (?) and are planning to humiliate him in some way.

Jen tells him to stand over by the closet and strip. But from the looks of Nora, is she even in on this? Now I’m not sure.

Wait, what?

Wait, what?

Charlie says no, you first. The ladies, who are now holding all the cards are like, n’ah, let’s go. Charlie, not wanting to lose his big chance, goes ahead and starts undressing while the girls egg him on. He gets down to his skivvies and then says your turn. Jen tells him they’re the ones holding the cards– hey!– and tell him to get naked.

Any asshole should be able to see through this obvious set-up, but maybe I’m overestimating the optimism of horny 18-year-old boys who’ve watched too many of the porns.

Charlie tosses his boxers into his iguana’s aquarium. My, this dorm has relaxed rules. Does he have a hot plate as well?

They get him to close his eyes and start moving him around, which doesn’t alarm him at all, and then shut him out of his bedroom, and walk off with everyone gawking at Charlie’s nudity. How’d they lock his door from the outside with no keys?

The two girls mosey off and throw away things that they stole from him, an autographed CD and his notes from a class he’s got a midterm in tomorrow. Jen holds up his favourite shirt which she says she’ll use to clean her toilet.

Okay, really? This is just overkill.

Jen invites her to a party, but she declines in favour of going back to her dorm and brooding. They say they’ll hang out but we’ll probably never see her again. So long, plot device!

At Pacey’s party, Audrey is flirting with him like a giant airhead, like he isn’t Joey most recent ex-boyfriend. Some friend.

A drunk Dawson shows up with the frat. Pacey’s upset with Jack for getting him hammered, and Jack’s like, meh, so long as he’s happier!

Dawson sees Joey, and is all HEY! I didn’t call you! Let me call you now! So he gets out his cell and leaves a message that ends with, it’s okay to leave you this kind of drunk message because you left me one once and if you hadn’t I would have gone back to LA and my dad would still be alive.

Whoa.

What the fuck was that?

What the fuck was that?

Dawson wakes up on Pacey’s boat to a disgusting hangover remedy. He feels like shit for blaming Joey for his dad dying.

Audrey says bye to her mom and they have a heart-to-heart that’ll probably improve nothing over time.

Audrey then thanks Joey for the self-esteem boost utilizing some mad vocal fry before it was cool.

Dawson makes it to Jen’s and doesn’t want a greasy breakfast, which is like no hangover I’ve ever had. They talk about how everyone’s handing his grief.

At the restaurant, Pacey talks to the waitress he always flirts with and sees the necklace he found around her neck. Ooh. The boss man’s sleeping with her.

As Joey’s walking him home to the train station, he says sorry and she forgives him. He tells her about the shrink appointment he never went to. Then he tells her how he was dreaming of them being together again and kissing her, and then his dad died and now he can’t imagine them together now.

So Joey kisses him and he looks sadder than ever. And Joey says now she’ll wait for him to be ready. So now that he’s emotionally unavailable she wants him again? Of course she does.

They stare at each other awhile and Dawson goes home.

Dawson’s Creek Revisited: Season 4, Episode 20 – Promicide

yay its prom

yay its prom

Bess is making alterations to Joey’s dress….because she is too poor to go buy a proper one, I imagine. Luckily it looks just as crappy as your average store-bought prom dress. Shortly we find out that in Capeside kids with bad grades can’t get tickets to prom. Might I suggest that real-life proms would be improved greatly by this practice? Bad news for the lovable screw up Pacey, who just wants to give Queen Josephine the perfect prom and we know that’s not happening and then he rips her homemade little dress. That my friends, is what we call foreshadowing.

Next Jack and Jen and gay friends are trading war stories. Jack doesn’t want to take a boy (specifically that Toby character) to prom because last year the shit hit the fan. And his  aforementioned PTSD.

All the kids who can afford prom clothes go shopping together and they take Joey so she can hold their bags and understand her place in the world.

joey-rella

joey-rella

The gang lets it drop that Pacey is taking care of all prom arrangements…should be NBD.

Turns out Gretch didn’t get *that* job in Boston. Dawson offers to skip prom in case moping around would cheer her up, and she’s like n’ah would rather be the old broad at a prom.

Now Jen’s telling Toby that Jack wants to ask him to prom, even though Jack specifically said he was not interested in that.

Joey is trying to seduce Pacey and all he wants to talk about is turkey (sandwich).

Now Jack is going to the prom with Toby and as revenge he sets it up so Jen has to go with Drue.

Now the Dawsons are taking pics of the highschool senior cradling his baby sister. In short order Joey shows up and they take pics.

what should have been

what should have been

Meanwhile I have discovered the secret formula to the adorableness in Joey’s smile. She pushes her tongue against her teeth and you can see it. WORKS EVERY TIME! Imma use that one next time I’m trying to talk my way out of a speeding ticket.

Gretch and Pacey show up and stupid Pacey never put the corsages in the fridge so they are dust. Ohhhh you!

Jack wrestles his ptsd to pick up toby, while Jen hits the bottle to cope with Drue. The limo shows up and it is just too shitty even for this show. After a quick stop for twinkies and condoms we are at the prom.

…ON A BOAT!

Joey and Pacey immediately have a row (see what I did there). Too bad they are trapped on a damn boat.

Now Jen’s all drunk (again). And leaning against a rail like she didn’t watch her friend drunk drown. Turns out she is half suicidal after seeing her dad.

Talky, talky…teary, teary.

Since Joey is ditched, Dawson pity-hangs with her. Joey wants to know if he is in love with Gretch since she knows they are gonna do the nasty in honour of prom. Then they talk about being first loves and dance.

Gretch drinks because she is old and Pacey tells her that he’s angry at Joey and doesn’t know why.

After that Jack ditches Toby since he likes him.

Pacey screams down the prom for no reason and completely humiliates her in a way that gives me secondhand embarrassment.

mean

mean

Then Jen almost flies off the boat, Drue saves her then she pukes on him.

Jack sucks face with Toby while Gretch dumps Dawson for being in highschool (and still in love with Joey).

Pacey approaches Joey and for some strange reason she doesn’t rip his nuts off. He goes on another rant about being a loser. So now we all feel sorry for Pacey again. Well, i don’t, but I think that is the general consensus.

In the limo Jack offers Drue his money, but he won’t take it (awwww). Everyone else makes super pissed off faces and the limo driver wants to go to the afterparty. No dice.

I’m with Gretch, teenagers are dramatic!

this was fun

this was fun

Dawson’s Creek Revisited: Season 4, Episode 3 – The Two Gentlemen of Capeside

Opening scene is an English class where the teacher is talking about The Two Gentlemen of Verona, thus immediately setting the stage for the theme of this week’s episode. The guy behind Joey plays with her hair (What? Weird) and she threatens him. I remember eventually snarking at some jerk in high school who was snapping my bra strap well after the fact. But she tolerates far less shit than I did.

This guy (Drue Valentine from last episode, rich fella) A. tells her he’s the new guy and she’s not nice and B. says she doesn’t seem popular and is, thus, useless to him. The teacher then calls on Joey to explain the book. Ironically it’s about two guys and the girl who comes between them. The teacher makes a Bad ’90s reference to Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place and no one laughs, including me.

Please quit your day job.

Please quit your day job.

Joey thinks the story of the two guys is too simplistic and that in real life love triangles are more complex. Dawson scoffs and the teacher calls him out on it. Then Joey and Dawson start arguing about their situation– err, the book and the new guy Drue raises his hand. He wants Dawson and Joey to give a prepared debate.

Who the fuck is this guy? Who does that? The teacher loves the idea and sticks Drue with also participating in the debate as well. And I don’t see how a teacher can hand out large public speaking assignments to only a fraction of the class, but this is TV. Anyway, it’s due tomorrow because why not. Always good to see a teacher wing a curriculum unevenly among his students on a whim.

At Jen’s house, she’s running very late for school because she spent the morning being pissed off about Henry, and Grams is giving her shit for wasting her time. She puts a “24-hour cap on melancholy” and sends Jen to school with an umbrella because of the prediction in the Farmer’s Almanac, something she apparently keeps up with.

At school, Jen’s arrived, and Joey and Dawson plan to prepare their debate at the Yacht Club while Joey’s working. How would that not get her fired? Pacey approaches and Dawson hits the dusty trail.

Turns out Pacey has gotten his first A, and he credits Joey. Didn’t his time with Andie garner him some sort of A ever? No? Huh.

He wants her to go sailing with him tonight since it’s the last good day of the season, unless that Almanac is to be believed, of course. Jen? Any thoughts on the weather? Nope. In fact, when Joey says she can’t go, Jen offers to go instead. Grams and her umbrellas be damned.

At Andie’s house, she’s asking for hair advice from Jack for a college interview at the Yacht Club. But Jack’s not that kind of gay guy and he gives no shits about his sister’s hair. They talk about Andie’s new meds for a bit because she feels dizzy. Ooh, foreshadowing.

At Dawson’s house, his parents are sick. He tells them if they’d stop screwing each other they’d stop passing their germs back and forth. That ain’t how viruses work, young grasshopper.

They talk about Dawson’s project with Joey and they’re worried about him. He’s annoyed that they’re worried. Before he leaves there’s hints of bad weather afoot. Dun dun dun!

And there’s Jen and Pacey out on the water. Well, that’s going to be a problem. Pacey’s worried that Joey’s spending time with her ex-soul mate and Jen’s like, meh, I think all teenage relationships are doomed right now, so sorry.

Then the boat does this and no one freaks out.

I want out.

I want out.

Jen asks Pacey if he checked the weather. Lady, do you listen to nothing Grams says ever? Pacey said he did and the storm is going to pass them. I’ve got 5 bucks on the Farmer’s Almanac.

At the Yacht Club, Drue takes a call on his cell phone and the looks on Joey and Dawson’s faces literally makes me burst out laughing. Yes, kids, at the turn of the millennium, this would have been the height of rudeness. Ah, life has changed.

Ahead of his time.

Ahead of his time.

Dawson: “Unbelievable.”
Joey: “Unacceptable!”

Joey physically takes the phone out of his hands mid-call. She tells the woman on the other end Drue will get back to her when his syphilis clears up and hangs up the phone. Wow.

Drue looks mildly annoyed and says “That was rude.” Joey counters it’s ruder to take a call on a cell phone. Joey would be about 33 years old now. I wonder if today’s cell phone etiquette would have her gasping for her smelling salts. Though, in all seriousness, I do kinda miss the days life wasn’t interrupted by calls and texts while out. Ah, nostalgia.

Drue talks about Joey and Dawson’s sexual tension and says Dawson is like Luke, which is not what the Princess wants, which is bad boy Han. Um, Luke was her brother. No one corrects him, but Joey does call him Jabba the Hut. Drue gets up and leaves and an old grumpy guy walks in wanting some dinner.

Grumpy Gus talks about a storm that’s coming, which worries Joey because Pacey took Jen out on the boat. She asks Drue if he’s heard anything about a storm and he says no. He takes another call on his cell while watching Baywatch and misses the weather warning displaying at the bottom of the screen.

At Andie’s interview, the rain has started. She and Drue’s mom, Mrs. Valentine, are going over her accomplishments at school and they get to Andie’s medical leave of absence and the posh Mrs. V gets all soft spoken when she learns about her about mental illness.

Dawson and Joey talk about the book, and then about themselves and Pacey. Dawson says he doesn’t want to be friends with Pacey again because Pacey wasn’t even sorry, whereas Joey was.

The storm, however, is freaking Joey out and she rushes to the TV to check the weather report, which says this is the biggest storm in 30 years. Of course, we break records like this all the time these days what with climate change and all. And considering they just had a hurricane in season one, I’d say this is actually pretty true to life.

Out at sea, Jen and Pacey are fighting the storm. They’re arguing about getting the weather report, and then a wave splashes them and the radio sparks and goes on the fritz. Did no one think to instal a water-resistant radio on this sailboat?

At Andie’s interview, she’s saying her greatest strength and weakness is her tenacity. Mrs. Valentine asks if her weakness is not her mental illness. These days, I think Andie would have a law suit on her hands for that one.

Then she’s like, you’re probably too mental for the ivy leagues, have you thought about state school? Andie stands up for herself and then we hear the storm worsen. This lady, though, is done. She wishes Andie all the best and pretty much shuts down the interview.

Joey tells Dawson Jen and Pacey are out on the boat and he’s appropriately concerned. Jack bursts in soaking wet looking for Andie, who is bummed about her shit interview. A man named Bruce comes in to let Mrs. Valentine know three boats are out and need assistance.

Joey asks about True Love and Bruce is like nope. Joey insists to him that it’s out at sea and a window smashes from the hurricane.

Out on the boat, Jen’s starting to lose it and Pacey’s promising her the boat won’t capsize. He tells her he’s taking them to a small cove for protection. As Jen takes Pacey to task, “Who will know where we are? How will anyone find us?” Pacey says that Dawson will know.

And in the very next scene he does, and points out the island where he think Pacey will go. Bruce says that island is no damn good, and he’ll send out someone to look for True Love once the other boats are in.

Dawson then says he’s going to go get them. Drue then offers up a boat they can use. And this sounds like a royally shit idea with an act of altruism that came outta nowhere. Unless this guy just likes some drama and doesn’t care about sending some classmates out to their possible deaths.

Just a light sprinkling

Just a light sprinkling

Meanwhile, Pacey and Jen are making their way to this cove. Pacey has about a summer’s worth of sailing experience to his credit and I suppose we’re supposed to believe that gives him enough expertise to handle this situation.

Dawson and Joey hop on a boat and set off, amid Dawson’s arguments that he wants to go alone. Alone, together, whatever, it’s still reckless. God, I’m old.

While everyone’s scrambling in the Yacht Club, Mrs. V is asking where Joey is to sweep up glass and Drue sells them out and says they took the grumpy old man’s boat out to find their friends. That’s more like it.

Andie starts taking charge of the situation and tells Jack to move the tables to brace against the storm. Mrs. V is like, you can’t just move the tables! (Why not?) Andie’s like, you have better ideas? No? Then shush! She tells Mrs. V to call Jen and Dawson’s families (Not Pacey’s you’ll notice, but they don’t give a shit about him anyway. Why Bess doesn’t get a call, who knows. Maybe they couldn’t get the actress this episode or didn’t want to pay her.) She gets Grumpy Gus to help her radio Joey and Dawson and tells Drue to sweep. He doesn’t want to, but Andie makes him with her highly effective nagging.

On the boat, Pacey is trying to keep things light while Jen slowly descends into a freakout. Instead of offering helpful suggestions for survival, Jen wants to make confessions, which people typically only do if they think they’re going to die. Jen’s not good for morale. Pacey’s not into the idea since he plans to live.

Jen then wants to talk regrets, and Pacey says he has none. Jen says she regrets never having fallen in love.

Pacey takes a moment and beck-peddles, saying he regrets the way things are with him and Dawson. Jen thinks he should tell him, just to say it.

Andie’s radioing Joey and Pacey and Dawson seems to have a lot of knowledge about sailing and coordinates. But the radio loses frequency and that’s that. But look, they found the True Love somehow and they tie the boats together.

Jen hops onto the stolen boat and when Pacey refuses to leave his boat/home, Dawson jumps on the True Love. All this hopping boats during a hurricane. Unwise. Dawson’s yelling at him, but it’s Joey calling for him that convinces him to make the leap, just in time to avoid a timely wave.

Or a hose from the crew.

Or a hose from the crew.

They make it back to shore, the True Love abandoned at sea, and families are there to hug the kids.

The grumpy old man is there too and gives Dawson shit about the gash now in his boat. Dawson offers to fix it with his savings for college. Grams butts in and threatens the old man with an ass-kicking if she finds out Dawson pays for the repairs after being so heroic.

I kinda see the old guy’s point, though. I mean, no foul taking the boat for a good cause, but why should he have to pay for the gash himself?

As Andie and Jack are leaving, Mrs. V has changed her tune about Andie. Jack, though, threatens to tell the university what a cunt she is. Andie tells her to shove it. Admittedly, Mrs. Valentine is the worst, but is burning this bridge really a good idea? Maybe I’m just a little jaded from the post-’90s economy. Good luck, Andie.

Joey and Pacey are talking, and Joey wants to talk about how scared she was, but has no patience for Pacey grieving the loss of his boat. Joey gets her way and they embrace. Then they talk about Dawson and the damaged friendship.

Dawson is watching from a distance and his dad comes up and is like, no fair, eh? You save the day and still don’t get the girl. Well, maybe that’s because life doesn’t really work that way? Mitch sounds like he’s trying to infect his son with a case of Nice Guy Syndrome. But then he tells him he’ll always look back on this and remember he did a great thing.

Grams and Jen are walking outside and Grams can’t find her keys and is shaky over her scare. Jen gives her a pep talk about how out at sea she still had hope. Which, you know, I really don’t think she did. But it’s making Grams feel better, so what’s a white lie?

Don't scare old people.

Don’t scare old people.

Grams works in the opportunity to push some church on Jen, but no dice.

Jen retrieves Grams’ keys from the Yacht Club and runs into Drue, and turns out they know each other. And haven’t run into one another in the halls at high school? Really? Looks like Jen’s got herself a nemesis of sorts.

A lot of people from Jen’s past certainly seem to find their way to this town.

Next day, Pacey goes to Dawson’s house to thank him, which Dawson accepts. Then he apologizes, which is what Dawson told Joey made a difference in his continued albeit stilted friendship with her.

And actually, Dawson sort of accepts the apology without rekindling the friendship, so that’s probably the best outcome Pacey could have hoped for.

MVA: Jen’s bad idea: “We should be doing that confession thing, you know, like they do in movies where the plane’s about to hit down or the meteor’s going to crash into North America and all the characters confess the secrets that have been plaguing their mortal souls.”

Dawson’s Creek Revisited: Season 4, Episode 1 – Coming Home

Opening shot, Joey and Pacey are actually on this sailing trip over the summer. Joey’s sick of eating fish. And she’s surprised Capeside on the horizon doesn’t look any different than it did when they left– three months ago. Pacey alludes to them taking odd jobs all summer. Uh…? So two minors sailed off and no one said boo and strangers hired them for short-term shit in random towns off the coast? Whatever, man.

Typical teenage boat life

Typical teenage boat life

Pacey then suggests just not going home. Who needs a high school education when you can brave life on a boat and eat fish? They then jump off the boat fully clothed.

CREDITS

At the beach, Jen and Andie are talking Survivor with Jack and Dawson takes their picture with an actual film camera as people were wont to do back in the day. Jack and Dawson have been painting houses this summer and run off to buy supplies. Andie spots two guys she thinks are cute and Jen mocks her and says she’s too chicken shit to talk to them.

Pacey and Joey dock and talk about what to tell people if they’re asked if they had sex on the boat. These are 17-year-olds who are in love and lived together on a boat for three months. Sex is not assumed?

They then talk big about needing space, but then make out so, no, not really.

At the hardware store, Dawson has a run-in with some shapely girl he seems to know. She’s taking a break from college and that’s about all we know. Jack wants to know who she is, Dawson doesn’t say and Jack says he’ll keep bugging him.

At the Potter house– hey, aren’t these assholes supposed to be “the poor family?” Look at that fucking adorable house on the water.

This is where poor people live.

This is poverty, people.

Bess wants to know if Pacey and Joey knocked boots. Joey’s not giving up the answer, though I’m starting to think she didn’t give up the goods. Christ, if you’re not going to have sex on a wild summer adventure with the man you love, then when?

Also, turns out Bess rented out Joey’s room for the summer, and she seems shocked. Well, that’s what happens when you abandon the family business to go fuck off (or not fuck off) at sea.

Also, the B&B under Bess’ management is wildly successful. Probably the loss of Joey’s scowling face did the place a world of good.

Back at the beach, Andie’s talking to those guys and turns out they’re French, barely speak English and want a tour of Capeside. Andie’s in a bikini and while she’s in great shape, there’s something about her that looks decidedly… not young. I dunno, gravity seems to be at play here. I’m gonna look up how old she was when this was made.

Holy shit, she was 30, which makes her roughly the same age as Bess. Wait, have I talked about this before? Oh, who knows.

At Doug Whitter’s house, Pacey’s being kicked out because their sister Gretchen is moving in. Yes, Pacey has an older sister they’ve never mentioned before now, and it’s the girl from the hardware store. And that actress is also younger than Andie.

Joey arrives at Dawson’s house. I should mention she’s wearing one of those tops so popular around the millennium, the patch of fabic held together in the back with strings? She lets herself into the Leery house like she always does, only she uses the front door for once.

She walks through the house calling everyone’s name when etiquette would suggest just ringing the doorbell and going home. She goes into Dawson’s room and sees a complete redecoration, including many framed photos that he took of his friends this summer. So Capeside is still the same, but Dawson isn’t. During this B&E session there’s some very emotive music playing.

At the house they’re painting, Dawson is telling Jack about his first crush, Gretchen, and how he used to leave tokens of his love on her porch and how it turned out to be the family joke.

At Doug’s place he’s telling Pacey that Gretchen has nowhere else to go, but that he can go live on his boat. I’m going to unequivocally say that booting out a high school student to live on his own on a boat is an epic family fail. (Uh, and when winter hits?) They also suggest their alcoholic abusive father where they may be a couch available. What is wrong with these people? Well, it’s making a lot of sense why at least he was able to sail off this summer without anyone saying shit. These are terrible older siblings.

They suggest the Potter B&B and Pacey says he won’t impose on that family and Gretchen says, yeah, why impose on them when you have your own family to impose on? I literally don’t get this. He’s a minor! He’s in high school! He’s allowed to expect a place to live provided for him by his family. Shit, these two are assholes. And Doug is making this smirk. WTF?

At Jen’s house, she’s saying Henry now lives in a boarding school and Grams disapproves of long distance because youth is about living the here and now. Rock on, Grams. And without saying a word about fornication, she welcomes Joey back and leaves.

Jen wants to know if Joey had some sex and Joey gets sarcastic and Jen drops it. I don’t get the secrecy. This was the sort of thing I told my friends about. Teenagers are chatty that way. Joey wants to know if everyone is ok, and Jen assures her everyone is fine. Then Jen tells Joey they all have plans tonight and she needs to come.

Meanwhile, Andie is giving an incredibly boring tour to those poor French guys.

Blah blah blah!

Blah blah blah!

They say some stereotypical French things and Andie is all wooed.

In a dark room– wow, I guess Dawson’s now really into photography now– he’s ill at ease about Joey’s return. Jen tells him to pull up his socks and face the music. He says Jen is responsible for the best summer of his life.

Oh, and there’s the Leerys getting it on in the living room– whoa, the dark room is in their house. Dawson has a dark room in his home. This kid has complete creative licence to do what he wants in life.

At the Potter B&B, Joey is shucking corn into the creek and Pacey stops by and asks to crash on the couch, to which Joey says no because she has to crash on the couch until Tuesday. Pacey says he doesn’t think the town missed them that much. Joey invites him to come along to the Dive-In, and says it’s important to “square things away” with Dawson.

Turns out the Dive-In is like a drive-in only with boats and stuff at the beach.

Andie is still boringly picking up those French guys who can’t tell how annoying she is.

Dawson sees Pacey has come too.

“I thought you said he wasn’t going to be here, Jen.”
“He wasn’t, Dawson.”
“Then why is he here, Jen?”
“Good question, Dawson.”

Pacey goes to get some drinks to calm the situation down, while Dawson effectively flees. Jack and Jen then try to make everyone behave themselves.

Pacey meets up with his sister and they have a chat. She saw the Pacey/Joey paring coming, although how when she’s been gone for his whole high school life, I’m not sure.

Joey wants to make small talk with Jack till Dawson comes over to talk to her.

Subtle!

Subtle!

Jen eventually talks Dawson into having that first chit chat. And they have some light airy talk. Pacey watches from afar. More airy talk. Dawson leaves and needs to take a minute to recover.

Andie finds out her preferred French boy has a girlfriend, and the one who doesn’t speak any English in fact speaks perfect English and has understood everything she’s said all day.

Pacey is saying they need to go, and Joey’s like, no, what if I’m having fun? (She’s totally not having fun). And they bicker and Joey launches a ton of names at him like asinine and childish and immature. She then tells him he didn’t have to come, ignoring the fact he just got booted out of his home and save his boat is technically homeless. But then Joey’s never been known for being supportive to her boyfriends.

They argue some more about Dawson and Joey’s commitment, I think, and Pacey storms off.

Back to Andie and the English-speaker wants to kiss her. I don’t understand her appeal. Andie is awful.

Dawson gives Joey a ride home and drops her off at her place. They talk a bit about his photography and she apologizes for running off with Pacey. She says Dawson’s the only one who hasn’t asked if she had sex, and Dawson’s like, well, the answer could kill me.

She then offers him the gift of a brick from Ernest Hemmingway’s house. Can you buy those? Did she steal it? WTF? She then gives a pretentious explanation of what the brick means. Whatever, Joe, sometimes a brick is just a brick.

He tells her it’s going to take more than symbolic masonry to repair their friendship, and Joey looks bummed she can’t just smooth things out with weird presents.

Before she goes in the house she basically tells Dawson she didn’t sleep with Pacey. Lame. Also, now he’s going to want reassurances down the road that this abstinence is ongoing. Throwing the guy a bone is almost meaner somehow.

She then goes to meet Pacey and gives a convoluted apology for being emotionally distant.

After they make up she asks to do “that thing we do once in awhile.” Sounds sexy!

Turns out it’s reading A Little Mermaid on the boat in hammocks.

Pfft.

Chastity on the open seas.

Chastity on the open seas.

Also, the interior of that boat looks way bigger than it ought to be.

MVA: Pacey. “Was that a note of disgust I detect of our sustenance off the ocean-born?”

Dawson’s Creek Revisited: Season 3, Episode 23 – True Love

APPARENTLY Momma Dawson has no friends so JOEY is her maid of honour. OMG please do not let this be a wedding episode. I can feel my PTSD from past wedding experiences twitching close to surface.

Credits

Pacey is getting ready to take off on his boat. Doug is giving him a big bro pep-talk, suggesting he tell Joey he is taking off and giving her a chance to love him.

Jen and Jack are bantering when Henry walks up. Jen is scary, and they both try to communicate through Jack and he wants them to grow up and gives voice to all the stupid subtext.

Jen says she is sorry that they ever met and storms away…for two steps. Then Mushroom Cut gives up.

Andie comes to Dawson’s house and asks Dawson to sign her yearbook in her pre-determined location. She is trying to get Pacey and Dawson back together.

sign here please

sign here please

Joey is driving a truck which looks super weird to me for some reason. Doug pulls her over for going BELOW the speed limit. He issues a “warning” … that Pacey is leaving for Florida for 3 months.

nice wheels

nice wheels

Joey stalks Pacey at the grocery store. He offers her a bite of his chocolate bar (I think it might be a three musketeers, which is pretty much the king of candy).  He doesn’t really get to enjoy his candy, because he has to hash it out with Joey instead. He rails on her for never painting that stupid wall.

Wedding rehearsal crap. Dawson snarks at Joey that she can go to Pacey’s goodbye party if she would prefer. He expresses surprise that she is just going through the motions with a scowl on her face. Has he met her?

Grams and the gang are having a goodbye party, and all the teens are kvetching over how hard they have it. Grams tells a story about her young love that was not Gramps who died in the Korean war. She says she acted on her heart’s impulse, and has no regrets, but this group of losers can’t say the same.

i've seen some action

i’ve seen some action

go on ...

go on …

Back at the party, Dawson finds Joey and insists he doesn’t want to fight, even though if they quit doing that, who knows what they will talk about because that is kinda what they do. Joey tells him that it’s his fault she dumped Pacey because he deserves to know that.

In the car Jen is sulking because of what Gram’s said and now she wants Henry. Grams pulls a U-turn and knocks over a bunch of garbage and says Jen has to get on that bus and tell him how she feels.

At the staring wall, Joey sees someone has painted it with “ASK ME TO STAY”. Pacey saunters over drinking a litre of juice. His face is completely mangled so I wonder what the hell happened in the last episode (Somehow I wonder if Dawson might have been involved). Or he survived a werewolf attack. Who knows-ies?

what the hell happened last week?

what the hell happened last week?

UGH the wedding. The Dawsons loved each other before they knew each other. And I can’t even.

Oh look, Pacey came to lurk at the wedding!

The rest of the gang has been driving all night to catch Henry and I wonder if Grams is going to jail for kidnapping.

Jen tries to run into the john to find Henry. But, he’s just standing by a tree, so no urinal shots. Jen strides up to him in front of all the boys and she has a big speech and outs him for being a virgin in front of the whole team and then they all applaud as they kiss and this is such a weird episode.

Back at the wedding Joey tells Pacey she can’t give him a reason to stay. Pacey’s face is suddenly healed btw. Dawson and Pacey have an ugly few moments.

Back at the football bus Jen feels like a happy idiot, and the gang can continue on the carpe diem roadtrip. Jack must go to Boston to win back his gay love (Grams is cool with all this, OK?)

Joey and Dawson are dancing while Joey tries not to cry which feels a tad bit rapey.

this is … nice

this is … nice

In BOSTON, Jack runs up to explain that he can be gay with this gay dude and then he smooches him. In front of his boyfriend. Who for some reason doesn’t kill Jack, but instead gives them some privacy.

At the ole wedding, Dawson is giving a toast for his parents’ do-over marriage and says he’s glad he finally gets to be in the wedding pics.

Joey tells Dawson he had a beautiful speech. Then he tells her to go to Pacey because he is tired of standing in her way.

AND IT IS THE FAMOUS DAWSON CRYING FACEEEEEE

DAWSON CRIES

DAWSON CRIES

Joey takes off running after Pacey as Dawson crumples in a heap on the bridge.

Dawson so sad

Dawson so sad

Jack tells his dad all about his gay problems and he does a decent job of not being a homophobe. Jack crumples into a ball on the floor. Dad says he is glad sonny boy is gay.

Jack so sad

Jack so sad

Dawson is skulking around and Jen and Andie and “Jack Attack” are all in Dawson’s bed to “Cheer him up”

…huh…

Joey is running so hard her shirt is flapping in the wind.

hulk want pacey

hulk want pacey

Pacey is being a whiney little bitch while Joey gives a big speech that ends with “I think I’m in love with you.” Then Pacey makes her change it to “I know”.

She wants to come on his boat trip instead of help her sister stave off bankruptcy and so they make out. She doesn’t bother telling anyone she’s leaving or grabbing a spare pair of panties and they are sailing off into the sunset together. Yes. Literally.

buh bye

buh bye

THAT’S THREE DOWN, THREE TO GO MUTHAFUCKAS!

Dawson’s Creek Revisited: Season 3, Episode 21 – Show Me Love

Music montage: Dawson staring at his zany aunt’s painting of him and Joey, Joey staring at a brick wall, Pacey hosing down his boat, “True Love”, Mushroom cut Henry performing a poor man’s Say Anything by holding a sign that says “forgive me” on Jen’s lawn (Jen takes one look and storms inside while Grams gives him the holiest stink-eye I’ve ever seen). Dawson storming past Pacey in the halls at Capeside, Joey awkwardly trying to find a place to sit in the cafeteria (spoiler alert: she sits by herself).

painting

painting

...crap like this is why I spent a lot of my teenage years disappointed in romance?

…crap like this is why I spent a lot of my teenage years disappointed in romance?

nyah nyah

nyah nyah

Joey is staring at the brick wall when Dawson comes outside to tell her that he wants her in his life. She says she just wants to paint her wall and he says it is an open invitation.

Cue the credits.

It is the Capeside Regatta 2000! Mamma and Daddy Dawson are discussing the boat race. They had sponsored Pacey in the Regatta, and Momma still wants the publicity, despite baby Dawson’s tantrums.

Do you? Really?

Do you? Really?

Dawson takes the flag to Pacey and they act like dicks to each other.

Joey is arguing with her sister because she doesn’t want to make the Regatta people pancakes because it is “humiliating”. Teenagers are weird. Was I that weird? What is embarrassing part of delicious pancakes?

Grams and the kids are making floral bouquets for the winners of the Regatta and all Jen can do is massacre daisies, to find out whether “He loves me.”

Mushroom Cut is still out there with his sign. Grams tells Jen she should forgive him for wanting to get in her pants.

Dawson asks Andie and Jack to borrow their boat so he can race against Pacey and win Joey, and Jack makes this face:

umm no

umm, no

Joey lost (and apparently forgot) the war and is enthusiastically handing is handing out pancakes, and Dawson drops the news that Potter B & B is his sponsor for the sailboat race. WELL THAT COULD BE AWKWARD.

Andie is holed up in her room with her multitude of awards. Will comes to tell her that he got some scholarship. Then Andie rants about Pacey, and Will warns her that she is about to become the sort of person he feels sorry for. About to? He must have missed most of this season and show.

Dawson almost kills Jack on the boat. Mitch comes by and drops a bunch of sailing lingo so we understand that Baby D probs isn’t going to drown.

Pacey sees the sign and Joey apologizes. Pacey is pissy and then Joey doesn’t care and just asks him to talk to Dawson.

Henry follows Jen to the restaurant with his sign, and momma Dawson makes her go forgive him because his pathetic behaviour is bad for business.

Henry takes her up to a rose-petal covered roof to further the apology. They make out.

Pacey calls out Dawson on the boardwalk, asking him what he is trying to prove and suggests Dawson just take a swing. They squabble about who has a better chance with Joey.

Morning: Jen comes home and Grams is pissed that Jen was out all night (i.e. Went back to her slut ways).

Momma Dawson and Daddy Dawson squabble about the race and Daddy wonders if they are ever going to start knocking boots again.

Welcome to the Regatta! There’s lots of sailing set to intense metal(?) music.

Pacey in the lead with Dawson at his heels. Then Dawson decides he will not back down, and Pacey swerves to avoid a crash. Dawson is disqualified for his shenanigans and Pacey comes in last.

Joey, Pacey and Dawson yell at each other and Joey storms off.

amateurs

amateurs

Joey cries on the boardwalk. Dawson finds her and has another heart to heart. Joey says all she needs is a friend without an agenda. Dawson agrees so she storms away.

Will is on his way (so soon?), and Pacey tells him not to sleep with his teachers. Will tells him not to give up on true love.

Jen is in her room sulking. Grams comes to her room to give her a dress that she tossed and a lecture on sex and birth control. Jen finally tells her that they didn’t have sex, and Grams is like super happy.

WHEN I GROW UP

WHEN I GROW UP

There is a GARBAGE poster behind her. Remember Garbage?

Also, there was a Paula Cole poster. Very meta.

Mamma Dawson is having a seduction party for Dadda Dawson in the restaurant. She says he is more important than business and I take it that is a big deal because they start sucking face.

Joey is back at the ole staring wall and Pacey approaches. They squabble over her loving Dawson and not him. Then he walks away and says he will renew the lease on her wall, and that he understands.

Then he goes back to his boat and wrenches the words True Love off it and throws it into the drink. Pacey, this is exactly what Will just warned you about.

Andie fishes “True Love” out of the water and now she wants to have a heart-to-heart about her not hating him.

Joey comes in through the window and wants to watch ET with Dawson. Because the most comforting words she can hear right now is “I’ll be right here.”

MVA: Defs “You gotta regatta”